Every Day

Over Now -

2010-03-16T13:56:00.002-06:00

A few posts back I spoke of this season. I know, for a fact, that I am not the only one going through it. There are a few I can name: Wilsons, McClendons, Capertons...those are just a few. I fully believe that we are here to learn, grow, and be prepared for the glory of the Lord. Now, I don't believe God brings, sickness, unemployment, disease or poverty. These are results of our fallen world. I cannot speak for any of the afore mentioned people, but this season I have felt God close but I feel He has been very quiet. So to fill the silence sometimes I just put in a CD and listen. I was listening to a CD by Needtobreathe called Daylight. There is a song called Over Now. Part of it says,

There is a feeling that you won't make all you have in store,
This is just a season, you deserve much more.
Lift up your head, look out the window, cause it's almost over now.
Take back the time, your fear has stolen, cause it's almost over now.

This song was, I think, God reassuring me through His quietness. I pray it is encouragement to anyone going through a hard season. God's plans have purpose. Unless a seed falls to the ground and dies...waiting for hindsight...

New Pics!!!

2010-03-11T13:08:00.006-06:00

Here are some new pics taken by the great and amazing Mandi Scoggin, for Erica's magazine Au Courant!!

I'm back -

2010-02-15T17:12:00.001-06:00

It has been exactly 9 months and 6 days since my last blog. (This is what that sounds like to me, Dear Mary full of grace it has been 9 months and 6 days since my last confession.) I felt like blogging was taking up too much of my life. I am sad to say that I fell out of the practice of it quite easily. But looking back I realized that was an outlet that caused me to write more often that I have without it, and for that reason (and a strange dream from Kelly Bruce) I am back. (Please, hold your applause until the end :)

I have seen many types of blogs. There are the very spiritual teaching blogs. The blogs that detail the journey of ...whatever...losing weight, stop smoking, houses remodeled. You know what I mean. Don't get me wrong...all good. Just not for me. Not saying I will never do one of those things, just that I see this as different all together.

In 2009 I got a prophetic word from a friend that when I turned 31, big stuff was going to happen , good stuff. I heard from countless people that this next year was OUR year.

It has been a while so let me catch you up

About 9 months ago our family started on a new journey. We will call it, owning your own business. (picture me throwing up as I type it) We had recently bought a house, which I had desired for a looooooonnngg time. So here we are, spending days lounging by my new pool, the kids running around our beautiful yard all summer, enjoying space and comfort and my heart full of thankfulness that God finally saw fit to answer my prayers (or moans). Things are good. I mean really good. And you know what God is good too. I am on staff at my church and experiencing great growth. I am finding my true identity. I am embracing myself and loving myself for the first time in a long time. Billy is getting lots of jobs for his new business. I have started a new workout program that I love and guess what: it's working. My kids are happy, my mom is a happy, I am happy and Billy is happy (or so I think).

A little time goes by.

Billy now informs me that money is getting tight and we need to be careful what we spend. Hey, I am on board with that. (As long as it doesn't affect me idea of my perfect comfortable new life) My mom informs me that she is having some pain in her abdomen. (my thinking...she is going to be fine, just needs some medicine) Then as Christmas arrives I find that money being tight has moved to money being GONE. We prepare the kids for a lean Christmas. They cry and are sad, but alas we make it through and they were blessed, as were we. Not because we got stuff, but because God is Good.

Then we go from "money's tight", to "money's gone" to "we are in debt." So we start unloading stuff. Dish network - gone. Internet - gone (Have to say we had to get that one back, sheesh who can live without the Internet). Home phone - gone. New great workout - gone :( Cars - traded in. Eating out - gone. Buying whatever I need whenever I need it - gone. You get the picture. Diagnoses comes back from the Dr. - cancer. Billy's business - goes under. Now we are faced with a number of things. One of things was reconciling the "GOOD" God I talk about to my actual reality. I was scared, angry, insecure just to start with. This has led me to finding out some truths I really needed to learn.

1. God is always good.
~Even when my circumstances are not.
2. Billy is not the problem. I am.
~I have found in the midst of this situation I have too may times, reacted in a way that is not very encouraging and secretly in my heart blamed him.
3. Billy is not my source. God is.
~I have learned to have faith in every one of these circumstances.
4.I love my husband
~I have learned again that we have a "no matter what" marriage.

So where are we now...We are both looking for jobs. Mom is on her third round of Chemo coming this Wednesday. We are still in a lot of debt. I am going to have to put Maddie in daycare when I find a job. We are trying to keep our house, that is still uncertain. We are praying everyday for the provision of the Lord. We are on a journey to become whole and that hurts. On every level of relationship (mom, husband, kids, family, friends) God is calling me to go deeper. This is our season of loss.

But, I have gained so much. I think it will be easier to distinguish that in hindsight. Oh, I can't wait for hindsight. But until then I will say God is always good to me!!! I really believe it. Even in loss, God is still always good. I know there are many of you have much more tragic stories than mine, but that is just it. This in mine. Anyway, I don't even know if anyone will read this. You have probably all removed me from you list. I wonder if this is like the tree analogy. If a blog is written and no one reads it, is it still a blog??

2009-05-05T20:44:00.002-06:00

Okay, so I know I said I wasn't blogging anymore, but because Rachel called me out specifically I figured this is a pretty safe one. So here I go...

8 Things I Am Looking Forward To:

1. Moving into a bigger house
2. Money never being an issue
3. Mexicooooooooo!!!!
4. Publishing my first book
5. All of my kids being in school (I know this sounds terrible)
6. Being the perfect size that God intended me to be
7. Publishing my second book
8. Seeing KLF reflect what is at the heart of who we are in it's fullness

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:

1. Go one day without my computer
2. Wear shorts
3. Travel everywhere with Billy (this may should have gone in the above section)
4. Sing
5. Keep the laundry done and put away
6. Give my children everything they have ever wanted (probably not a good idea)
7. Go to the movies once a week
8. Become addicted to exercise

8 Shows I am Currently Watching:

1.American Idol
2. Biggest Loser
I will soon be watching
3. Wipeout
4. So you think you can dance
5.
6.
7.
8.

Okay, I will tag ....ummm....someone please do this :)

Family Pics

2009-05-01T14:26:00.004-06:00

Well Helloooooo -

2009-03-09T13:57:00.006-06:00

I am so tired of looking at that post from 1986. I thought to myself, surely I could think of something else to write about. So here goes; an update of sorts.

My and Kristina have been planning the BFW. Pam and Joann have been big helps. I am really excited. But I want to see something happen. I want the traditional "If you are leading something big, you will be attacked" scenario to die. I am so tired of this being the norm. We have had all sorts of crap happen. I don't really want to give you the gory details. Let's just say I am tired. I know this BFW is going to be powerful. The best yet. I can say that because every one is better than the last. That is to God's credit. So anyway, I am really excited. Just a few weeks left.

Mom has gotten a not-so-great report back from the oncologist. I don't receive it. I am believing for long life for my mother. Have faith with me, that is all I can say right now.

I just started the P90X. I am on day five. It is pretty much suckfest. It is so hard. But I like to work hard. It's is the eating that is a *&@%. (I am not sure what you will find if you follow this.) I spend most of my time being sore and tired. But I think it will pass in about 90 days. I am hoping for good, FAST results. What can I say, I come form the microwave generation.

Maddie has been sick. She had the flu and some crud after. Bailey has has a cough. Paige, me and Blaise had a stomach bug about a week ago. Just to give you a glimpse Blaise threw up and had diarrhea in her bed, never woke up, just rolled around in it until the next morning. Yeah, I know: gross. Almost everyone is better know.

Sunday night has been good. It went from about 30 or 40 people to aver a hundred every Sunday night. What Brandon talked about this past Sunday night was life changing. If you weren't there I highly encourage you to get the CD. It was so powerful. Jason has also taught of some great Kingdom principles also. Again, CD's available.

The book is coming along well. I am about ready for the first edit to get the initial book proposal ready. Just pray for me. Julia emailed me this week after a pretty long absence on my part. I have spent so much time for the BFW I haven't written much. It was good to here she is still interested.

I don't even want to talk about the house. All is going well, it is just that every time I say anything . . . well you know. Let's just say - soon. Okay, let's just say that.

Well, I will leave you with as few recent pictures.

Maddie's getting into everything, as you can see. She keeps me busy!!

We have been having lots of fire. I pray they are prophetic pictures of a fire God has started.

Paige was in a show at the Paramount. She was gorgeous and thinks she has found her calling.

Maddie's first attempt at string cheese.

Maddie and her gorgeous daddy (isn't he hot?). She wasn't feeling well, so they were cuddling.

P.S. Don't plan to hear a lot from me from blog world. I really want to be wise with all my time. While I love all of your blogs. I think I need to invest in some specific area. But, I may sneak in every now and again.

Cancellation of debts

2009-01-02T10:45:00.003-06:00

At the beginning of 2008, Billy and I began the year with about $90,000-$100,000 of debt. We have had debt our entire marriage. This year we began to declare that we would be debt free in 2008, except for our school loans of course.

Early in the year I began to see the number 5 everywhere. I would glance at the clock and it would be 5:55. I got bills in that were $55.55. All.The.Time. Then I read in one of Bill Johnson's books that God revealed to him this was the cancellation of debts. We began to buckle down and pay off everything we could. But we still had the big ones. School, 2 vehicles, a land payment, some small medical bills and credit cards. Then, as most of you know, in April the church paid all $29,000 of our school loans off. This was a turning point in our mentality. What was previously impossible, now seemed more realistic. Next we paid off out credit cards and all other small bills. Then our suburban finally sold. Then as the last few months of the year came and went, so did our debt. The truck, which again seemed like an impossible situation, was sold. The land payment is gone. Medical bills gone. All we owe is a small amount on our van now. We went from being a slave to debt to pretty much debt free.

It really is true that we hold the power of life and death in our tongue. As we continued to declare, "Debt free in 2008" we sat back and was wowed by God's goodness.

Now my faith is increased. I have even bigger things to declare in 2009. What are you declaring for 2009?

"Twas the Night Before Christmas -

2008-12-24T22:40:00.002-06:00

It is late, I am waiting for one more little girl to go to sleep so I can put the finishing touches on the Christmas presents. But, while I wait I have thought about how blessed I really am. I have a wonderful husband, 5 beautiful and healthy little girls, my needs are all met, I am beginning a promising career as a writer, I love my church body, I have some of the best friends a girl could want, and Jesus is crazy about me. God is forever exceeding my expectations. Every time I think, "There is no way," or "I don't see how it can work out," God comes through again. You would think I would quit thinking those absurd thoughts. But, as I take inventory of my life I am left with the wonderful assurance that God loves me and He is good. These two statements are what I want to base my life from. If I never believed anything but these two things, life would be good. I know it is early for new year's resolutions, but I already have a few. So here are some things I want for 2009:

*To live everyday from "God is good and He loves me."
*To write something everyday.
*To love more deeply than I ever have.
*To concentrate on the important things and let the fluff fall away.
*To take care of what has been given to me in the most excellent way.
*To let go of all bitterness, pain, wounds, disappointments and unmet expectations.

I am sure there is more. But this is more than enough to keep me busy through at least April.

Well, I am off to finish up. Blaise is finally asleep. I pray that God blows every one of your expectations away with His goodness.

Blaise's Angel -

2008-12-12T09:00:00.004-06:00

Last night we were winding down for the night. The three older girls were all asleep. I was feeding Maddie a bottle when Blaise walked into the living room. She has something in her hand, but I couldn't tell what it was. Blaise is getting to the age that she doesn't do crazy dangerous things anymore. She is three now and she is smart, so I don't worry so much anymore. But, last night, she gave me quite a shocker. She came around the couch and told me "Mom, look what I did." I got up and looked and she had stuck a metal key into an outlet in the living room. Now, mind you, it had outlet covers on it. She just stuck it in under it and stuck it right into the outlet. In the outlet that just happens to be the only outlet in the house that doesn't work. I then proceeded to freak out and scare her until she cried, which wasn't my plan, I was just so overwhelmed with what could have happened. I put Maddie to bed and just held Blaise for a long time. She calmed down and informed me that I was "in big trouble" for scaring her. I apologized again, but thought to myself it was worth it if she would never do that again.

Thank you Jesus for always protecting my children. Your blood is enough!

Billy George Hafner IV

2008-12-01T22:42:00.005-06:00

So, if I were to have had a boy, do you think this is what he would have looked like?

** For those of you who are not sure, this is Maddie with blue pj's and paci **

The battle of the century!

2008-11-11T20:23:00.002-06:00

Good evening everyone. Welcome to the fight we have all been waiting for. I am Bob, along with my fellow announcer, Jim.

In this corner weighing in at 450 pounds, consisting of 12 loads of white, darks, jeans, colors, greys/tans and towels is the the dreaded laundry. In this corner, weighing, none of your beeswax, is Francesca.

Now, Jim, Francesca may have a poor record against this competitor, but I think she has potential. She has only won 120 out of the 46,831 times they have met, but this could be her day.

Ding!!!

As the bell rings we see Francesca coming out swinging, but she has had a problem with her stamina in the past. We will see if she has improved any. Now the laundry's biggest defense is it's sheer mass. It has the ability to make the bravest of fighters cower in the corner, thumb in mouth, in the fetal position.

Ding!!!

Now, in Round 1, Francesca managed to take out the easiest in the laundry's arsenal, the jeans and towels, but let us see if she can manage the colors. It is amazing how many little shirts can fit into one load, Bob. She is trying to get ready for the next round. Here is where we have seen her go downhill. Let's see what she has got left.

Ding!!!

She is getting winded, I am not sure she has enough gas to see it through. Oh, and she goes down. Well, that was a short fight, Jim. I thought she would make it to the 3rd round. But this TKO was brutal. She will have to spend ALL her spare time training for the rematch.

Better luck to her next time.

Life -

2008-10-28T11:45:00.003-06:00

Things have been pretty quiet in blogville. I have missed reading about what is going on in your lives. So here are a few things going on here.

My mom is doing better and then again she isn't. The tumor is gone and her chemo is done. She only has about five radiation treatments left. But she is back in the hospital again. She couldn't keep any liquids down or any of her medicine yesterday so I took her back to the hospital and she will be there until tomorrow. I fully believe that she is healed. I am just ready for her treatments to be finished so she will begin to feel better again. It is hard seeing her so weak and tired all the time. But it won't be long until she is better than before.

The fast is going pretty good. I have had many victories and a couple of defeats. But over all it has been good for me. I am determined to stop living by what feels good or even right. I will not be ruled by anything but the love of God. I am on a mission to learn to be completely satisfied with the Lord. Not food or entertainment, not praise of man or positions. I want to know what it is to be satisfied only by God. I can take comfort during this time in Hebrews 2:17-18

"Therefore, He had to be made like His brethren in all things that He might become a merciful and faithful high priest in things pertain to God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For since He Himself was tempted in that which He has suffered, He is able to come to the aid of those who are tempted."

Jesus partook in humanity so I could partake in divinity. Amazing.

Maddie is getting so big. She is sitting up and eating off of her highchair tray. She is saying dada and other sounds. She loves her sisters and is a joy to our family. People have told me that she brings peace to those who hold her. Madeline means high tower. I declare that she will be a place of refuge for those who need it.

Billy is amazing. I can't put it in this post because there is too much to tell. I am finding in this twelfth year of marriage things I have wanted from the beginning. The way of the Kingdom is peculiar indeed. He who loses his life will find it. He who gives will receive. It is a paradigm that I want to know in a deeper way.

For those of you who haven't heard, the house inspection came back a disaster. So, I will continue to wait. I am cool with it. I just want God's will in God's timing.

Sunday night training has been really good. I can see every week, people's lives being changed by the prophetic. It really is powerful. There are words that I have gotten that will be nuggets I stand on for years to come.

So, there are some updates. Not anything really new, just life.

30 years old!!!

2008-10-24T09:04:00.003-06:00

Well, yesterday was my 30th birthday. First I had Coffee, with no coffee, with my friends. I then did laundry and cleaned house all day and got ready for Marriage Life Group. It looked to be just like any other day. I noticed the first curious thing when Billy asked me what I was going to wear to life group. I thought this was an interesting question, but I just thought maybe Kathy was planning a little something so I dressed up a little. So, Chass got to the house to keep the kids, and I gathered up my notebooks and stuff for life group and walked outside and there was a LIMO!! Can you believe how sweet Billy Is. Anyway, when I got in the limo it got even better. Pam and Elliott, and Cody and Ashley, were waiting inside for me. We went to the movies and saw Fireproof. It was really good. You have to get by the initial cheesy factor, but after that I really liked it. We went out to dinner and then came home. It was my first official night out without Maddie since she has been born. That is six and a half months. That is a long time. But what a way to do it. I had such a good time. And tonight I have more birthday fun. So this is like a birthday weekend instead of just one day. I am amazed at Billy lately. But that will be another post for another day.

2008-09-29T12:11:00.002-06:00

I need a vacation. I have heard it said that getting away is a necessity, running away is stupid. I think if you don't do the first, you end up wanting to do the second. Anyway, I would love to make a break for it. Maybe even just for a few days. If you could go on vacation anywhere, where would it be?

Telemarketers ...sheesh!!

2008-09-25T10:45:00.003-06:00

Phone rings. I pick it up and look at it. I don’t recognize the number but decide to answer it anyway.

Me: Hello?

Telemarketer: Hello, may I speak to Billy Hafner?

Me: I’m sorry he is not available, can I help you?

TM: Can you tell me who takes care of the electric bill?

Me: I do.

TM: Great, you are just who I need to talk to. (Like we are best friends) I am with First Choice Electric and I want to talk to you about your electric service.

Now, this guy sounded so excited I thought I would go with it for a while and see where we ended.

Me: Okay.

TM: Now, who do you currently have service with?

Me: Reliant.

TM: And do you know if you have a fixed rate or a variable rate.

Me: Ummm … I am not sure…I think a fixed rate.

TM: Well do you think or do you know? (At this point I am thinking this guy is getting a little too cocky.)

Me: Well, I am not sure.

TM: Well, do you have a monthly service change.

Me: I don’t think so.

TM: (Smugly) Then you have a variable rate. Which means they can change you rate from month to month.

Me: Ohh.

TM: I think we can offer you a better rate, can you give me your zip code.

Me: 79510

TM: Okay, give me just a second…oh this is the best rate I have seen all day (I am sure he says that to all the girls) 14.1 cent per kwh.

Me: Okay (as I am sliding over to my computer to pull up my current rates and plans)

TM: You would have a $4.95 charge per month plus being billed for your kwh.

Me: Okay.

TM: So, if you used about 1000 KWH you would have a bill of about $140 per month.

Me: (pulling up my account)

TM: Oh, I’m sorry is that too brainy for you (are you kidding me?)

Me: (deciding I am going to take control of this conversation) No, that is not too brainy for me, I was just thinking that 1000 kwh is an extremely low per month average.

TM: Well that is just an average.

Me: Now tell me, do you have online services?

TM: Oh, you would ask me that, I just started…I think so.

Me: Well do you think or do you know?

TM: (nervous chuckle) Here let me ask…(he is mumbling in the background) yes we do, we have a $3.00 charge to pay by over the Internet or phone.

Me: Do you have other hidden fees applied?

TM: Well, we do have a cancellation fee of $295, if you cancel before your contract is up.

Me: That is pretty steep. So I have a monthly charge and a charge for paying online.

TM: Yes.

Me: I am sorry, what did you say your name was?

TM: Bill

Me: Well Bill, this is my problem, reliant has a rate of 13.5 cents per kwh, no monthly service change and no fee to pay online.

Bill: (laughing) Are you trying to talk me down.

Me: Well, if you are only offering 14.1, I can do better than that with my current provider.

Bill: (still laughing) Are you a used car salesman?

Me: No, I am a stay at home mom, but I do a lot of negotiating.

Bill: Well, I guess you won’t be interested in switching.

Me: No, I guess not.

Bill: Well, okay, I guess that is all, have a good day.

Me: You too!!

Update -

2008-09-22T13:39:00.002-06:00

I am so tired of seeing that last post, so I decided I had to write something. So...where to begin.

We are in the process of buying a house, yes again. We are waiting to hear something from the seller's mortgage company. If that goes through and the inspection goes well, it should be a go. But, you know as well as I do, that you never know with us. The house needs some work, but could be a great investment property.

Mom's treatments are going well. She has had hardly any side effects from her Chemo. She should be leaving the hospital tomorrow. She has five rounds of radiation left and one round of chemo left. She will go back into the hospital to do the chemo. During this time she is going to be staying with Gary and Andrea Cheek. They have an extra room and bath. She will have some space and quiet to rest and get well. It was such an amazing thing for them to offer. God is going to bless them tremendously.

We kicked off Sunday night training last night. I though it went well. I received some pretty amazing words. Some that I will remember for the rest of my life. I am looking forward to the next 8 weeks.

Everyday I am further amazed at Brandon's leadership ability. The beauty is that he remains humble and transparent. I love how he empowers people to be their best and wants people to have an outlet. He is not interested in holding people down or insecure about what it means to him if they are successful. He wants them to be successful. Everyone is needed, this is the mentality. I love it.

Had a little scare today. I have had two dreams that I was pregnant. Pam had a dream that I was pregnant. I still haven't started my period from when I had Maddie (sorry boys). Billy's vasectomy is Friday. Would that be ironic or what if I were to find out I was pregnant the week of his surgery. Well, all is well. I am not. I was extremely relieved.

We are going through Marriage Life Group. We just started and I have found more things coming to the surface in my heart than I have in a long time. I think it is good though. I want to have a heart that is more concerned about meeting my husbands needs than my own. I know when I truly do this, all my needs will be met too. That is just the way God operates. If we are trying to get for ourselves we lose. But if we give of ourselves we will get. It is a great paradigm.

Avery was asked to be the princess in the homecoming procession at Friday Nights game. She will wear a fancy dress and carry the homecoming crown on a pillow for the new queen. She is super excited. Paige is also going to that game with a boy and his parents. Yikes, I know. We know them well and he is a sweet boy. But we have made it clear they are not boyfriend/girlfriend. But he did buy her a mum.

It has been a pretty hard last few weeks. Billy has been working out of town and with mom gone I have been a single mother. Just a shout out to the single moms I know, Jennifer and Amanda, I don't know how you do it. I only had to do it for two weeks and that was plenty. I pray God would give you strength and endurance to be both mom and dad.

Well, Me and Billy turn 30 on Oct 23 and Nov 29, respectively. I am excited about my 30's. I am believing they are going to be better than my 20's.

Well, laundry is calling my name. I should answer it. That is some of the things going on here.

Faith -

2008-09-12T08:34:00.004-06:00

Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

For those of you who have not heard - My mother had some tests ran and got back an initial bad report. We are waiting to hear about a biopsy and a ct scan. I am asking all of you to put every bit of faith you have in prayer for her. We hope to hear something soon. I am praying for a good report. Please join me.

Thanks

***Update - Mom got a call with the results. It tested positive for cancer. She will start having app. and treatments almost immediately. Please continue to pray.

2008-09-04T14:43:00.002-06:00

I need a miracle in the coming months. I need the heavens to open and the glory and the favor of the Lord to rest on Billy and I. I need resource and laborers and healing and open doors and relationships mended and blessings. I need God to come thru big for me. I am looking forward to telling you how He does it.

Suckfest!!

2008-08-29T12:36:00.003-06:00

Computer crashed. Not very conducive for this aspiring writer.

Bring the Rain!!

2008-08-16T20:27:00.002-06:00

It was Friday, cloudy, as I listlessly surfed the Internet. I used to sit down at my computer with anticipation at what would pour out of me. But lately, every time I sat down and looked at my screen … nothing. I was frustrated and felt very dry in this area. As I scrolled through house plans on houseplans.com, my phone let out a familiar beep. I turned it over and to my surprise saw Aaron Laughlin’s number. That’s not right; I thought to myself, he is in California at the School of the Prophets conference. But it was Aaron, and this is what the text message said:

“Holy Spirit, I call on you to pull out the creative writing ideas in Fran today! You will step out of the dryness today and into the rain, that is the word of the Lord.”

As I read these words something broke over me, I wept into my hands as the feelings of lethargy fell off of me. I looked out the window, wanting to run out in the rain. I wanted this oppressiveness to be washed off of me. I wanted the weight of the message that couldn’t get out, to be rinsed off of my shoulders. But, the clouds had begun to clear and it looked like no rain in sight.

I opened the current thing I was writing. I looked at it with determination. With the guidance of the Holy Spirit I began typing had more done in ten minutes than I had accomplished in the past 3 months.

As I typed I continued to look out the window, waiting for a rain drop to fall. But as more time passed, the bluer the sky got. Then, my phone beeped again, Aaron said this:

“I had a picture of you actually dancing in the rain. Next time it rains I think there is something prophetic there.”

I felt that very thing. I responded with:

“Just waiting for the first drop!”

But as the night went on, there was no rain. As I laid my head on my pillow I thought of rain. And as I drifted off to sleep I dreamt of myself dancing in the rain.

I looked at the clock in my room. It said 9:24 am. It was so dark; I had slept later than I had planned. I laid there for a minute until my ears recognized the familiar pitter pat on my metal roof. It was raining. I jumped up and got dressed. I opened the door and what welcomed me was wonderful. In the weeks of summer, with highs around 100, everyday, it was a cool 65 degrees outside with a steady rain falling. I stepped out of the dryness of my home onto my wet porch. I spread my arms wide and threw my head back as the rain poured over my face. I ran down the stairs into the puddles awaiting me, and as a child, splashed through each of them. I thanked the Lord for the rain, and that I was not made to live in the desert. I declared and prophesied over myself and thanked God that the wells within me would never run dry. I would always have something to write about. As I twirled and splashed around, ignoring the cars driving by, I began to feel the weight slide off. I was sure it ended up in the muddy puddles at my feet. Before too long three of my five daughters were out splashing around with me. As we danced and twirled we prayed and prophesied over each other and others in my family. I prophesied greatness over each of them and myself and Billy.

Bailey jumped in to each puddle with gusto. She squished in through her toes and soon her fingers. As she pranced around covered in rain and mud she said that Blaise would be a great leader. Paige would sing songs to people and they would know God was real and good. Billy was a king among men. Avery would love the Lord always. We would have a great house where people would come. Grandma’s paintings would go all over the world and would be joy to the world.

After about 30 minutes, we were wet and a little cold, but invigorated. The rain began to pick up and the wind howled. Blaise began to shiver a little and I knew our time was done. Avery took one more run through, as we rinsed off our muddy feet. You could still see muddy holes, shaped like feet, scattered through the front drive. As I looked out into that mud I thought of how they would probably remember this moment for years to come. And one day, maybe they would take their own children by the hand and jump through mud puddles until they were too tired to do it again. Then maybe they would take their own kids in the house and wrap them with robes and tell them they were robes of royalty. And them maybe they would make them the most chocolaty hot chocolate ever.

I really hope so!

Hey, listen up!!

2008-08-14T14:59:00.005-06:00

Over at 5 minutes for mom I entered Brandi to win something. So scoot on over, scroll through the comments. They say to comment on the one you think should win. I want her to be blessed beyond all belief. So, get to commenting!

Photo Contest

2008-08-02T20:05:00.003-06:00

I am entering a summer photo contest!! Check it out here! Vote for meeeee!!!

Stuff -

2008-07-25T09:17:00.005-06:00

So, "stuff" has been going on. When "stuff" is going on, I want to know what is up. I hate to be on the peripheral of "stuff". You know, you get an inkling here and maybe an idea here, but you really don't know what is going on. It is easy to get caught up in the "stuff". But here are a few verses I have been meditating on the last few days.

Proverbs 10:19 "When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise."

Proverbs 11:13 "He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy conceals a matter."

Proverbs 12:18 "There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."

Proverbs 15:18 "A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but the slow to anger pacifies contention."

Proverbs 17:9 "He who covers transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends."

Proverbs 15:28 "The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things."

All these verses have led me to "check" my heart. I want to be a person who is wise and righteous and soothes instead of inflames. I want all the words out of my mouth to bring life and healing. I don't want to be the one sinking ships if you know what I mean. So, no matter what "stuff" is going on, I want to not be moved. To any I have hurt, I repent. I want the meditations of my heart and the words from my lips to be pleasing to the Lord.

Yearn, Faint, Cry -

2008-07-23T15:09:00.005-06:00

Okay, here is what you do. Go to itunes. Then go to itunes store. Then go to podcasts. Then enter in Yearn Faint Cry. Then you subscribe to this podcast. Then, once you get access to all available podcasts you scroll down. Then you continue to scroll down. Then you stop at a 4 part series by Mike Bickle called The Power of a Focused Life. Then you download them. Then you listen to the first session and get convicted, then your life gets changed. Then you put it on your NEW IPOD (Yipeeee) and listen to it again and again and again until in becomes manifested truth in your life. (the first session, that is, I haven't got to the next three because I am soaking up the first). I learned some powerful things from this podcast.

I will say, to some of you who are extremely organized and scheduled this may be nothing. But to us who are little, say, crappy at time management, it will be profound. Even if you are fairly good at it, this will spur you on to a new level of excellence.

Enjoy!!

Gifts & Surprises!!!

2008-07-18T10:18:00.004-06:00

Yesterday I got a wonderful Gift and Surprise from Aaron and Rachel Laughlin. Now they would never want me to draw attention to them ... but that is exactly what I am doing because they are flipping awesome. So, anyway this is what I got!!

I am so excited. So, thank you Lord for gifts and surprises and terrific friends!!

Messin' me up!!

2008-07-15T13:45:00.006-06:00

This song is messin' me up! Every time I hear it a little more fear breaks off of me.

I tried to upload the video, but no dice. So here is the link.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=JoC1ec-lYps

Here are the lyrics

He is jealous for me
Love's like a hurricane
I am a tree
Bending beneath
The weight of His wind and mercy

When all of the sudden
I am unaware of these
Afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize just how beautiful you are
And how great your affections are for me

And oh, how He loves us, oh
Oh, how He loves us
How he loves us, oh

He is our portion
And we are His prize
Drawn to redemption
By the grace in His eyes
And if grace is an ocean
We're all sinking

So heaven meets earth
Like a sloppy wet kiss
My heart turns violently inside my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about, the way

He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves ...

I need you!!!

2008-07-07T09:05:00.004-06:00

I have a question for all of you. I would really appreciate a response.

What do you do to to relax or for pure enjoyment.

See, I believe that my high stress level is contributing to this ailment. I began to realize, I don't know what makes me relaxed. I have lots of things I have to do. Plenty of things I want to do. I serve of two different advisory boards at church. I am Kathy's prayer assistant. I lead Intercessory prayer on Tuesdays. I meet with Brandon every week on a project we are working on. I meet with Kathy and Ashley every week. I have coffee twice a week at my house with friends and another time with the women's ministry team. (Which I do enjoy, but I wouldn't call it relaxing) I try to do lunch on Thursday's (not always, sorry). I also have five kids, and one still attached to my hip (or boob), a husband, a unfinished book, a house to clean, groceries to buy, and 21 loads of laundry per week.

All that being said, I know each and every one of you has a list as long or longer. So my question again.

If you had a free day, a little cash, what would you do. Pure fun, stress relieving activities.

On the lighter side of things ...

2008-07-03T16:01:00.004-06:00

I know I have sounded a little melancholy lately. So I thought I would post some pictures of some of my children . . . sleeping in strange places and positions. If this can't cheer a person up, I don't know what can.

Avery, asleep at the table with a chip in her hand.

Maddie hanging almost upside down sleeping.

Blaise, well, I am not sure about this one, but I can assure you that she is really sleeping. This last one is just because I love it.

Worthy is the Lord!!

2008-06-29T18:17:00.003-06:00

The theme during worship today seemed to be this - Holy is the Lord, Worthy is the Lord. We sang at least four different songs and this was the reoccurring sentiment. God is Holy. God is Worthy. God is worthy of my praise. It is easy to say this when things are good. Not so much when things aren't. When circumstances are good we worship God because of those circumstances. When things are bad we are supposed to worship God in spite of our circumstances. I have found a few things out the last few weeks.

I can be an ungrateful brat.
God is not bothered by that.
I am guilty of worshiping because of, not in spite of.

Here are some things I have repented of.

For judging God.
For trying to manipulate God
(You know when you want something and your husband says no. So you pout, in the hopes, that he will feel bad and give you what you want. Don't act like you haven't done it. That is manipulation. And I tried it on God. And guess what, it doesn't work. On Billy either)
For withdrawing my trust.
For withdrawing from relationship.
For doubting.

God is Holy and God is worthy of all my love, adoration, and praise. Not because of any reason but who He is. And He is good. All. The. Time!!

Trust and Betrayal

2008-06-23T11:41:00.003-06:00

Well, I have decided to drop a heavy on blogville. I figure no one is reading anyway. Well, where to begin. May 14th seems like a good place. The day before the BFW I was left with a tough decision. I had to choose what I wanted or what was better for the whole. I would like to say I easily choose to do what was better for the whole, but it was a bit of a struggle. But in the end I heard God, made the hard choice, but was pleased that I passed the "love test". The very next day my left ear began ringing. The headaches start. I went through many phases. Angry that it would not go away. Scared that something was seriously wrong with me. Annoyed that my life was interrupted. And at last I settled on feeling betrayed. I felt betrayed by God. Here I was making difficult decisions, passing tests and this is what I get. Now, mind you, it has taken almost six weeks to uncover those feelings. If you would have asked me if I trusted God, I would have answered unequivocally YES. But did I really? Do I really? Here I am six weeks later. Doctors have looked, prescribed medicine, taken blood, ran tests. People have prayed over. I have declared over and yet, the ringing continues. The headaches aren't as bad. Actually yesterday was the first day in 38 days I haven't had a headache.

So here I am. Realizing there are some areas I don't trust God in. There I said in out loud. If I fully trusted God, I wouldn't be so fearful or insecure, would I? Now, I will say I know it is crazy. I have a blessed life. I know (in my head) that God is always good. I have dealt with disappointments. Yet, there is always a shadow on the edge. Every good thing has a lingering shadow. Will something bad happen. I know God loves me, but when it comes down to it, he loves ____ more. If someone is going to get the short end of the stick it is going to be me. (These are all lies I have believed)

So yesterday it came to a head. God wants me to trust Him. I left church giving up all my expectations. You see, I have had plans and expected things to be a certain way. For my comfort and my pleasure. And when my expectations haven't been met I was disappointed. I left saying "God, I give up control." In every area God is wanting my trust. But, I will honestly saying it wasn't a joyous experience. I felt heavy and dry.

Last night I listened to a sermon on Bethel's website by Danny Silk called Trust and Betrayal. He put worlds to everything I was feeling. So when it was over, after crying and asking for deliverance I had a little Theophostic moment. I realized I was fairly OK when betrayed by people. See they aren't perfect. When I feel wronged in relationship I can always say, "That person hurt me out of their own wounds and insecurities." I can reconcile that. But there have been times when I felt only God could do something and I felt let down.

About 5 years ago I had a miscarriage. The Monday I went to the doctor and my levels were low, all I could do was pray. And when I miscarried that Saturday I believed a lie of, "You are alone. You have to take care of yourself." So I found the lie, I asked God what the truth was. I saw a picture of Jesus tossing up a little baby boy who was perfect and happy in heaven. I don't know why things happened the way they did, all I know is now, right now, he is in perfection. For some reason, I don't think he would have been here.

So here I am. I am walking through this process. I wanted to just hold it all in and at the end of this tell my victorious testimony. But here I am in the middle. Walking it out. Struggling. But here are some things I know to be true:

I love the Lord with all my heart.
I want to trust Him with everything that concerns me.
I believe when this is over I will.
I have a good life.
God is okay with my questions.
I will see my healing manifest. (Thanks Aaron, you are so right!)
God only has the best for me.
God loves me more than I can ever know.

So, here is where I am. Maybe the lull will remain and no one will see this post. And I can pretend like this never happened.

Pictures -

2008-06-20T10:15:00.005-06:00

Here are some pictures I have taken lately.

Pretty Maddie sleeping!!

Billy and Maddie taking a little nap!!

Avery turned 4 on June 18th

Mom has been painting wheat. So she had me take some pictures.

The Prayer House!!! It is beautiful!!

There is more going on right now. I am just not ready to write about it yet. So for now, this is all I can give you. More will come later.

Francesca

The Shack, Page 142

2008-06-13T09:07:00.004-06:00

"Why do I have so much fear in my life?"

"Because you don't believe. You don't know that we love you. The person who lives by their fears will not find freedom in my love. I am not talking about rational fears regarding legitimate dangers, but imagined fears, and especially the projection of those into the future. To the degree that those fear have a place in your life, you neither believe I am good nor know deep in your heart that I love you. You sing about it; you talk about it, but you don;t know it."

Francesca looked down once more at the water and breathed a huge sigh of the soul. "I have so far to go."

***********************************************

Lord, deliver me from all my fears. Help me to know your love and goodness without shadow. Help me to trust without reserve. Help me!!!

The Shack -

2008-06-02T08:25:00.003-06:00

People use the word life-changing a lot and normally in the wrong place. "That cheesecake was life-changing!" or "This stain-remover will change your life." Whatever. But I will tell you I read a book this weekend that has changed my life. Or it would be more appropriate to say, is changing my life.

The Shack. Read it. You won't be sorry.

There will be more to come on this. I am almost too full to pour it out!

Happy Birthday Pam!!

2008-05-28T07:55:00.002-06:00

So, obviously it is a little past Pam's birthday. But, nonetheless, we are having a birthday dinner, in her honor. Friday, May 30th, 6:45, Carino's. Let me know if you will be able to make it. And to close, here a a few things I love about my Pam.

Pioneer
Artsy
Maternal
Excited
Lovable
Awesome Cook

Planner
Almost 40!!
Ravishing
Kind

What do you love about Pam?

Happy Birthday!!

2008-05-19T16:13:00.001-06:00

Maddie is six weeks old today. It goes by so fast. I love her so much!!

I need a new shirt!

2008-05-18T16:37:00.002-06:00

I need a new t-shirt that says this:

Yes, they are all mine! Yes, they are all girls!

Catch Up!!

2008-05-13T16:31:00.006-06:00

For Paige's 11th birthday we had a sleepover at the Elegante Hotel. Paige invited five friends. Alexis is missing in this picture because she had a Girl Scouts thing. They had so much fun.

They went swimming!!

We made frappicino's and they went up and down the elevators!!

And, of course, they had a pillow fight!!

Moving on ... Bailey had a program for school. She was an elephant. At work that day Billy tweaked his back. After sitting still for the entire program when we got up to leave his back locked up. We had to get Trish, our resident RN, to come to Billy's aid. And during this time that Billy couldn't move, Blaise peed on the floor. So that was an eventful night. (BTW, Billy went to the chiropractor, he is fine.)

We sold the Suburban!! Hallelujah!!

My dad came into town because...

My beautiful, talented, genius, hardworking sister graduated from HSU with her Master's.

So Mom and Diane Horner threw her a party!!

And Maddie has started to smile...

and has really cute feet!!

Beautiful!!

2008-05-05T21:19:00.002-06:00

Boys cleaning the kitchen. It is a beautiful sight!!

I'm Sorry!!

2008-05-01T17:54:00.003-06:00

When I was about 13 I was in all-star cheerleading. We were training to go to Nationals in Dallas. Days spent doing standing backhandsprings and toe-touches to perfection left one in pretty good shape. I was 13 but looked about 16 or 17. Our uniforms were green, blue and white and we were the Cats. (A few years later Dustin Hawk cut the sides of that uniform to wear for Halloween but that is another story)

Looking back, I am not sure how my mother managed to pay for such an elite elective, but at the time I neither wondered not cared.

So I pack my bags, including the staple of hair ribbons and Asics, and we were off. The first night we got to Dallas we were taken to the Galleria for a evening of fun. We all split up and were told to meet back at ?:00. Me and a few friends walked around wishing we had money for clothes, laughing at the weirdies, and of course checking out any cute guys. And, of course, I found one. He was cute, with sandy brown hair that fell over his eyes and he was 17. We began to "talk", which meant I flirted and teased and he ate it up. I found I liked that feeling of power over the opposite sex. So, when it was time to go he asked where we were staying and what we would be doing tomorrow. I told him we were in town for Nationals and we would be cheering at ?:00. When I got back to the hotel he called our room. I began to find him a little annoying, already. So, we talked for a while and I made up some excuse about having to get some sleep for tomorrow and hung up. The next day, I began to hope he wouldn't find me among the huge throng of people. I was coming down an escalator and lo and behold right at the bottom looking up at me, there he was.

Shoot!!

So we cheered, he followed. Later, we found a place to sit and watch the other teams compete. He wanted to hold my hand, I wanted to escape. So, I did what every stupid 13 year old girl would do. I told him I had to go to the bathroom . . . and never went back. Can you believe that. How rude was I. Apparently during the 24 hours we knew each other I gave him my home address, because about three weeks later I received a letter. He was hurt by my escape and as he sped away from the arena he got a ticket for speeding, to add injury to insult. He wasn't sure what he did wrong and was hoping I would write back, which of course I didn't.

As I thought back to this story, I wondered how or if this experience shaped him. How long did he sit and wait before he realized I wasn't coming back? Did he feel rejected, embarrassed? Did this affect any future relationships?

What leads a girl to hurt someone like this? Stupidity!

So, to the guy I left in a dark arena over 16 years ago. Sorry!!

My sentiments exactly!!

2008-04-29T11:47:00.005-06:00

I was reading Jenni's blog today. Jenni gave birth to her 12th child the week after I had Maddie. She wrote a beautiful post that expresses my feelings exactly. It is entitled:

Stupid is as stupid does!!
By: Jenni

I used to be a moron.

Not that I can now claim to have completely escaped from the tangled web of morony, but from at least one thread I have won my freedom.

This sticky, deceitful thread was the one entitled "newborns are boring".

In years long past, I would gaze upon the face of my infant child and sigh at their helplessness. I wanted them to DO something. When would they smile? When would they sit up? When would they crawl? I checked the books and chafed at the interminable time it would take before they would be entertaining.

Moron. Card-carrying. Certifiable.

When they would curl their bodies into tight little balls as they lay upon my chest, drawing their feet up and tucking in their arms, a chrysalis of humanity encapsulated between my collar bone and navel...I didn't find that particularly wondrous.

When their heads would lift off my chest, bobbing and weaving, eyes wide with unfocused wonder and mouths in tiny o's of surprise, struggling to study my features before burrowing back into my neck in exhaustion...I didn't think that was terribly interesting.

When they would twitch and squeak as they slept, eyes darting under delicate lashes as they sailed their ship of dreams, smiling suddenly, breath puffing out in the heh-heh-heh of a Lilliputian laugh as angels stood at the helm and told them of the adventures they would have together..I did not stand in amazement.

When they would wake in the night, nuzzling and searching for comfort, flailing and furious at the sensation of hunger, knowing somehow exactly how to be satisfied: nurse, swallow, breathe, repeat...I never saw the miracle before me.

But slowly, so slowly...I have learned. I have cut away the sticky demands, the tangle of impatience, the ignorant blinders that kept me from seeing all that my infants were.
They were fascinating. From the curl of their fists to their wrinkled soles, amazing. At two weeks (+!), my newborn has already changed monumentally from when I first laid eyes upon him. He does not smell like the breezes of heaven anymore, but of Burt's Bees Baby Wash. He does not wear the infintesimal speck of size NB any longer. The cord has shrivelled and gone. Every day, he grows (faster, I think, than any baby has before).

I sit and rock him, and stare. I do not want him to sleep so that I can "get something done". I do not hasten to lay him in his bed as soon as he is finished nursing. I do not wonder how long it will take him to smile at me in recognition. I kiss his wizened little old-man hand and do not want it to fill out into six-month plumpness. I am cherishing his tinyness. And I cry for the infancies that I wished away, in ignorance and impatience.

I wish I could have them back, just for an hour, to treasure them for all that they already were.

In this respect, at least, I am no longer a moron.

Here is what is going on here!!

2008-04-25T13:08:00.004-06:00

Well, I will start by saying I am finally getting back into the swing of things. It has been a bit of an adjustment. I won't say it has been easy, but it has been worth it. I think one of the reasons I was able to adjust so quickly was all the amazing wonderful friends around me. Pam organized meals for me for a couple of weeks. (Thank you, Pam, Amy, Krissy, Kelly, Cherith, Kristy, Ashley, Kathy, Brenda, Cyndi, Rachel) Amy, Krissy and Ashley all took Blaise and Avery on different days. This was amazingly helpful. Pam picked up my kids from school quite a bit. Brandi sent me a wonderful card. You are the best friends anyone could ask for. I have felt sooooo loved by you!! All the times you were doing those things, I got to sit around and look at this...

I caught her first "accidental" smile!!

We had a birthday party at the YMCA for Bailey!!

Here is the sweet birthday girl. She is 8 now!!

Yes, I am rocking the bows on Maddie!! I love them, why didn't I do this with the first four!!

We had our first real bath!!

And ... the piece de resistance... I think she might have curly hair. You have all seen Billy, how have I not had a curly-headed little girl before now. Here's hoping!!

Anyway, those are a few things going on here!!

Avery

2008-04-16T13:07:00.003-06:00

This is beautiful Avery. She is three and 3/4. She is fun and smart and more things than I can name. But, another thing she is, is talkative. She is always talking, but more specifically, talking to me. And I must at all times keep eye contact. If my eyes roam at all, she will start over from the top. Everyday is filled with more questions than I can answer, more stories than I can remember, and more idle chatter than you would imagine. These traits are probably very significant to her destiny, but right at this moment, it makes me a little tired.

Life as usual?

2008-04-11T11:54:00.004-06:00

Well, things are getting back to normal around here . . . kinda. A little less sleep for me, but I can't seem to care. I just love Madeline so much. Even at 3am when I am nursing her, I can't even be put out. I am so in love with her. And thinking back a few months ago, with all my heart I wanted a little boy. It seems so strange now. I couldn't imagine not having her. I couldn't imagine our family any different than 5 little girls. It just seems so ... right, ya know. God really is so smart.

The girls are crazy about her. I have to spend a lot of time shielding her from an onslaught of hugs and kisses. I am trying to make her available to them, but not let them have free access to her. It has been a little tricky. Especially with Blaise and Avery. There are quite a few mamas in this house. Blaise has actually had a little bit of a rough patch. She is a little more emotional and frustrated. She has had some potty accidents. I am just trying to love her and assure her that she has not been replaced.

For any readers out there who don't go to our church. This week we got a amazing phone call. Someone wanted to pay our student loans off. Out of the blue. The biggest debt that we have. The lid that has been over us for our entire marriage. The thorn in our side that constantly plagued us. The debt, that in the natural, we could not pay off. $28, 206. 47. Yes, almost $30,000. God is so good. I have been overwhelmed with God's goodness. It doesn't matter what we do, he can be nothing but good.

So, that is what is going on here. A lot of nursing and staring at Madeline. And being very thankful!!

Madeline Grace Hafner!!!

2008-04-11T11:54:00.003-06:00

Love, logic and the rod!!

2008-04-03T14:11:00.002-06:00

There has been lots of talk about different types of discipline lately. I will be the first to tell you I don't have all the answers. But I ran across this today and I thought it was pretty amazing.

21 Rules of this household!!!

1. We obey God.
2. We love, honor and pray for one another.
3. We tell the truth.
4. We consider one another's interests ahead of our own.
5. We speak quietly and respectfully with one another.
6. We do not hurt one another with unkind words or deeds.
7. When someone needs correction, we correct her in love.
8. When someone is sorry, we forgive her.
9. When someone is sad, we comfort her.
10. When someone is happy, we rejoice with her.
11. When we have something nice to share, we share it.
12. When we have work to do, we do it without complaining.
13. We take good care of everything that God has given us.
14. We do not create unnecessary work for others.
15. When we open something, we close it.
16. When we take something out, we put it away.
17. When we turn something on, we turn it off.
18. When we make a mess, we clean it up.
19. When we do not know what to do, we ask.
20. When we go out, we act just as if we were in this house.
21. When we disobey or forget any of the 21 Rules of This House, we accept the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

I want my house to operate like this. Which, of course, has to start with Billy and I. I think if we could press the first 20, the last one would be the easiest of all. Instead of starting with how do we discipline, do it backwards. Make discipline the exception when the first 20 don't get done. Anyway, like I said . . . I am no expert on children. Having a lot doesn't make you qualified, it just makes you need the Lord more. I know God is bringing us to a new and better way concerning this topic. Just thought I would share.

Reader's Discretion Advised!!

2008-04-02T15:34:00.002-06:00

Last week I went to the doctor on Wednesday. He checked me and said I wasn't dilated or effaced at all and he couldn't feel the baby's head and he thought she might be breech. So after all that encouraging news I really had to pray. I went back today and he did a sono. He said she was head-down. She had dropped some. He could feel her head. I was dilated to a one. The sono measured her at about 8 and 1/2 pounds right now. I am not sure how accurate those are. And I lost one pound this week. So overall a much more encouraging visit this week. Billy is leaving tomorrow for the BFW. I am scheduled to pre-register on Sunday and at 5 am on Monday I am to be induced. I am praying Sunday I will go into labor on my own. So anyway, this is what is going on with me.

On a side note. I had a wonderful baby shower. Thank you to all who came. I have enjoyed going into my room and just looking at all her stuff.

Sorry to all of you who are tired of hearing about baby stuff. I can't seem to think about anything else right now. You know, with a living person inside of me about to come out. In a few weeks maybe I will have something else to talk about.

Giving Birth -

2008-03-20T09:19:00.002-06:00

So this pregnancy has been a very significant one for me. While they were all special in their own way, this one is different. I have felt from early on that this physical pregnancy and birth was spiritually paralleled. I feel, and have been given more than one word, that I am pregnant with ministry. The thing about being pregnant (with anything) is that you can't rush it. You have to wait until everything is developed. Being pregnant with ministry is the same way. You can't rush it. It will not come to pass until everything, (your character, integrity, etc.) is ready. Just like with a baby, if it comes too early there are things that could not be developed fully and the baby may mature at a slower rate, trying to catch up.

I have more to do at my home that I ever have. I have more kids, more laundry, more love to give out, etc. I have more to do at church than I ever have. More with prayer, more with women's ministry, more with life groups, more with BFW, more with writing etc. I have been more tired and stretched than ever. My faith is being stretched, my capacity to hold is being stretched. So, I am at the end of this and this is what I have found.

Being stretch, both physically and spiritually is hard. But if you want to contain something that will live past you it is necessary.

Pregnancy is the easy part, both physically and spiritually. It doesn't feel like it at the time, but there is an end to pregnancy. There is no end to growing up children or ministry.

I remember with every baby wanting so bad to go into labor and then it would start and I would remember how bad it would hurt and I wondered why I was in such a hurry.

After all the labor and crying and pushing is done, you realize you would do it again in a heartbeat.

What I have seen the most is that this isn't just for me. I have seen a stretching and a wrestling in a lot of people. It has made me want to hold up the arms of the women around me but i have found myself to be so totally self involved in my stretching that I haven't done it. But I will say this.

Brandi - You are not forgotten. God sees you and loves you and Miles. You are being stretched and pulled at. Go to the high place with the Lord, everything looks different from up there.

Jennifer - I don't know what is going on with you but God loves you and has not forsaken you. You are not a disappointment or a failure. You can rely on God and the people He has put around you.

Trish - God is bringing you to a new place. You have been stretched and pulled on. Embrace this new birth.

Monica - You are at the end of your own decade long pregnancy. You can finish strong. You are doing what you were created to do. Don't be overwhelmed.

Becky - You are right where God wants you. Throw yourself into this process. God is good and He wants the very best for you and for Bryan.

Ashlee - You are having your own labor pains far away from this body. You were created to give birth. You were created to be fruitful and to multiply. And you will, both physically and spiritually.

Cherith - You are pregnant with a new baby and lots of responsibility. You can do it. You won't be overwhelmed. You will rise to the occasion. You were designed to hold a lot.

Pam - You are also about to birth a 39 year old man out of your house and into His studio. It won't be long and it will all have been worth it.

Rachel - God is birthing ministry ideas, but more importantly He is stretching you in the area of your family. You will respond yes Lord. You will not resist. You will find at the end of the labor, you would do it again.

Mom - You are pregnant with ministry and art. At just the right time it will come. You are in the preparation phase right now. It won't be long.

Anyone else I didn't name specifically, sorry. Just know that whatever God is putting in you or calling out of you, He won't leave you. He is good and that is all I know to say. We all have something of value that needs to be birthed out of us. Let's see the big picture.

Romans 8:18 "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

Hallelujah!!

2008-03-14T11:20:00.002-06:00

The burrito burden has been lifted. Billy came home yesterday and fired me. He said he found a replacement. I have never been so happy to be fired. Really it wasn't all that hard, just inconvenient. But now all my energy can go into the laundry. I think to keep it up it will take everything I have.

On another note: Please pray for us. Blaise has another ear infection. Dr. Steadman gave her a shot, put her on steroids (that make her moody:() and on an antibiotic. This is the last step before she has to get tubes. I am really praying that her ears will clear up and with the seasons changing that this will be the end of the ear infections. Also, I am pregnant. Please pray for a fast timely delivery. I am getting ready.

Wake-up Call -

2008-03-07T16:02:00.003-06:00

Why is it that it's easy to pass on the junk to our children, but we have to work to pass on the good. Today I noticed how easy kids pick up on our faults.

Paige asked our local librarian, Cindy, if she could come one day a week and help shelve books. Cindy said Fridays from 4-5 would be good. Last week Paige had a school party so she wasn't able to go. So all this week she has been looking forward to her first day of "work". Before I picked up Paige from school I called Cindy to make sure today was still a go. Cindy had some things going on today and said that starting next week would be better. So when I picked up Paige, I had to break the news to her. Now we all know this, in the big scheme of things, is not a big deal. But, it felt very big to her. She was so disappointed. So, I tried to just tell her that she would get to go next week, but she was still extremely upset. She just sat there quiet for a few minutes and then she said something that broke me heart and scared the bejeezes out of me.

She said, "Mom, can we just go by and pick up something from Sonic."

Shut Up!! She has learned to use food for comfort from me. It made me sad and a little scared. I tried to explain that we can't look to things like that for comfort, she just nodded her head but I am not sure it got through. How easy do they do what we do. I am going to have to really be proactive in this area. Not only not allowing myself to find comfort in food, but retraining me and her about food. I am also going to have to spend some major time interceding and speaking life over this area of both of our lives. Paige is so beautiful and full of life. I would hate to see my shortcoming cause her to miss out on one second of the glorious life God has for her.

I believe God is calling me to deal with this issue once and for all. And apparently one of the biggest tools he is using is my ten year old daughter. Pray for us!!

For your viewing pleasure!!

2008-03-07T13:24:00.004-06:00

Ahh! Paige's headgear! She is being very diligent. Just thought you would like to see! Only 5 more months, 20 more days, 7 more hours and 38 seconds until she is done.

Mondays!!

2008-03-03T16:46:00.003-06:00

Well, it is Monday again. I just wanted to pay homage to a day unlike any other. Here are just a few things I have said I will do or start on a Monday.

Start eating healthy
Get all the laundry done and put away
Clean out my fridge
Organize the bills
Tweeze my eyebrows
Exercise
Plan out meals for the whole week
Pray for one hour a day
Drink more water
Organize something, or everything for that matter
Blog

But, what usually happens is that Monday is spent trying to recuperate from the weekend. Why do we always say we are starting things on Monday. I think this Thursday I will start something. Maybe I will take up origami, or wipe all the little grubby fingerprints off my DVDs. Who knows? Anyway, this is my tribute to Monday.

Maddie Jane Hafner

2008-02-28T16:14:00.002-06:00

That is the name. Madeline Jane Hafner. And NO, we will not be calling her MJ. I think Maddie Jane is pretty cute. I knew there were some of you out there that were having trouble concentrating on anything, not knowing the middle name and all. I just wanted to end the agony. Proceed people with your normal lives. No longer must you stare at the computer screen waiting for an updated blog from me. I have spoken.

Well, obviously I am just kidding. You probably haven't given it a second thought. I just thought I would share.

I finally finished all the BFW talks. Hallelujah!!! I didn't know what a big project that was going to be. I loved every minute of it. I am just glad I got it all finished. I emailed the last one and now I have 76 minutes to rest before I have to start preparing for the Rev 5:8 conference.

I am 34 weeks pregnant. Only six weeks left. I want to finish with some shred of dignity. I know if I allow myself I will end this pregnancy a pathetic pile of whining crying mess. I go to the Dr. on Monday. I am a little afraid. I was so excited about only gaining 1 pound last month. I think I celebrated a little too much, with too much cake. I had only gained 12 pounds up until then. We'll have to see what the scale holds for me next week. I really don't care that much.

Please pray for us. We are still waiting on some info about the house. Also, with the baby coming, paying for baby stuff and hospital stuff and Vasectomy stuff and wanting to move in the next month or so, we could use some favor from heaven (in the form of money). I don't want to be moved by circumstances, though, God has all I need. But I would love your prayers.

2008-02-25T17:41:00.002-06:00

Well it has been awhile. There have been a few things going on.

Billy had his "V" consultation. It was pretty quick. But I will say it was a little awkward when they told him to drop his pants. I guess that is how men feel when the go to the ob/gyn with their wives. It is just kinda weird. His appointment for the actual procedure isn't until March 28. I am not sure how he feels about me revealing this. But I am just so excited (that is kinda creepy, huh)

The house situation is moving along. We have had some very good news. We are waiting for one more thing to fall into place before we can take the next step. But I really think this is the one. I am really hopeful. I will let you know something when we know something.

Mom is leaving in the morning for Bethel's Prophetic Arts Conference. She is pumped (not sure she would use this word) Pray for safe travel and increased anointing. I am also praying she will make some connections for her future.

I have another Dr. appointment on next Monday. Then I start going every two weeks. Only about 7 weeks left til little Madeline gets here.

Our life group has been going well. I think God is blessing it. I pray soon we will have more room for more people.

Took Bailey to the DR. today. She has been diagnosed with the flu. Pray no one else in our family gets it.

That is all I can muster for now. Hopefully more later. Peace.

Valentine's Day!

2008-02-12T17:48:00.001-06:00

I had a terrific Valentine's day. Good friends, good food, good movie. Billy gave me a beautiful plant and a sweet card and a CD I have wanted forever. Bryan Adams Greatest Hits. Now this has all the greats: Summer of '69, Everything I Do, Please Forgive Me, and many more. I absolutely love it. He even bought Mom something, too. He was very sweet and thoughtful. How was your Valentine's Day?

Oh, by the way, I have decided on the name Madeline. Still thinking of a middle name.

P.S. Is anyone else having trouble with blogger? I can no longer spellcheck (something Pam will tell you I am in desperate need of) I can't add a picture or anything. The toolbar is gone. What is the deal?

It's the final countdown!!

2008-02-12T17:48:00.000-06:00

I went to the doctor yesterday. As most of you already know, I am having another girl. Now, contrary to the last post like this, I was not at all upset by this news. Actually, I went into this appointment expecting a girl. So I was not surprised. In other good news, the baby looked perfect. She was right at 4 pounds. And best of all . . . I only gained 1 pound this month. Yay!! I go back in three weeks and then every two after that. I reminded Dr. Anderson that I didn't want to be induced. So I am praying I go into labor at the perfect time, not over my due date. God must have a very special plan for these five girls. I am not even disappointed, even though there are those of you holding out to see the "taco" before you believe it. You know who you are.

In other news, Billy has his consultation for his "V" on Feb, 21st. So this is, indeed, the last Hafner baby.

So this is the newest news about Hafner Baby number 5. Now... I only have to think of a name.

Faith Like a Child!

2008-02-08T14:34:00.000-06:00

Last night, while sitting at dinner, Bailey said she would like for us to spend some time praying for some people. So I asked her who she would like to pray for. She said there is a girl named Kristin at her school. Kristin has Celebral Palsy after difficulties at birth. She is in a wheelchair and has trouble speaking and other things. So, Bailey started to pray for her, and I was blown away by her prayer. She prayed the Krsitin could be brave at school, and prayed that the Lord would bless her. Then she said this: God I know you didn't do this to Kristin, the devil got in the way the day she was born, would you go back to that first day she was born and heal her.

I was amazed. This is why Jesus said have faith like a child. Bailey doesn't doubt God is good. She understands a concept that adults have trouble with. Because we live with disappointments and hurts, we sometimes don't fully believe that God is just only good. She understood that evil comes from the devil and good comes from God. I thought this was amazing.

Lord, help me to have faith like a child. To believe unswervingly that you are good alone. Help me to have a heart to pray Heaven for people. And also, would you go back to that first day the devil got in the way in Novemeber 2004. Heal Miles!!

Catch Up!

2008-02-04T10:42:00.000-06:00

It has been a few weeks since my last post, so I will try to catch up.

We have indeed started a life group. It has been good. I am excited about opening our home. It is not a huge group, only about 8 in all, (not counting my kids). But I know God is going to bless it.

I am pretty dern pregnant. I have not been sleeping well. Indegestion, hip and back pain, and just the inability to find a place to fit this big belly. But I only have about 10 weeks left. And since I don't know if it is a boy or a girl I have ZERO baby stuff. Not one diaper or outfit. So, when I do find out, it will be crunch time. My appointment is next Mon. at 1:40. So just one more week until I find out. I am really pumped.

We have had some interesting developments in the house situation. We are supposed to be getting some very important info today. Please pray. This is the first official step. And with the baby coming, it couldn't come at a better time. If we don't move soon, my bath tub may be the new baby's bed and room.

My mother is going to Redding, Ca to a Prophetic Arts conference. I am so excited for her. I believe it is going to be a landmark time in her life. She is so talented, I am excited to see a wonderful gift grow even deeper.

I am still making burritos. It is not terrible, just monotnous. I will be closing the kitchen in a few weeks. If any of you are interested in taking up the burrito position, let me know.

I am doing lots of BFW and Intercessory prayer stuff. God has been showing me so many amazing things. I find so much life and faith well up within me when I am really in the word. It is one of my favorite places to be. Makes me wonder why I ever get out of it.

So anyway, that is a little catch up on what has been going on around here. I will try to post more often.

Life Groups!!

2008-01-21T17:41:00.000-06:00

This semester Billy and I are going to have a life group. We have no idea who will come, but we are excited. I may have to get advice from some of you seasoned life group leaders. Billy and I have led one before, but it has been a while. So anyway, pray for us. And spread the word around.

How smart are you?

2008-01-13T13:23:00.000-06:00

Hey guys, do this test. Remember, you only have 8 seconds, so it goes really fast. Post your score in my comments. And no cheating!!

http://www.flashbynight.com/test/

This season -

2008-01-09T08:04:00.000-06:00

As you can see I have update my blog. Every day. I am embracing this way of life. The last few months I have felt like I was perpetually waiting. Waiting for the house, waiting for ministry opportunities, waiting for a baby. I felt like my life was on hold and I was waiting for the real life to start. I started to look forward to when I am not pregnant anymore, and then I lose this time of wonder. I started to look forward to the time when my kids are older and I have more freedom, then I lose this time when they are so precious and need me so dearly. I started to look forward to the time that I would get to minister on a larger level, then I miss the everyday chances to do so. This type of thinking has kept me from embracing right now. This causes my heart sorrow. I have repented.

So, I have determined that every day I will embrace what is before me. If that is only taking and picking the kids up from school and making breakfast burritos, that is okay. If it is getting in the floor and letting my two babies climb all over me, even better. Because the truth is, what I am doing and building right now may seem small, but is huge in the big picture. This season of being a mom and wife is not minimal. So, whatever it is, I want to do it to the fullest. I am tired of regret from looking back. And it is too hard to look so far in the future that you don't see the present. The timing of the Lord is perfect. I will live today and let God handle tomorrow.

The rest of the declaration -

2008-01-07T06:20:00.000-06:00

(This is the second half to the "Jobs and better jobs" declaration)

We are believing you for:

Heaven opened, Earth invaded
Storehouses unlocked, and Miracles created
Dreams and Visions, Angelic Visitations
Declarations and Divine Manifestations
Anointing, Gifting and Calls
Positions and Promotions
Provision and Resources
to go the Nations
Souls and more souls
From every generation
Saved and set free
Carrying Kingdom Revelation

Thank you, Father, that as I join my value system to Yours, You will shower Favor, Blessing and Increase upon me so I have more than enough to co-labor with Heaven and see Jesus get His full reward.

Amen

Another reason I LOVE H-E-B!

2008-01-04T10:37:00.000-06:00

Wednesday I did something I don't like to do. I took all four of my kids grocery shopping with me. Silly, yes I know, but we really needed food. So, I had a plan. I rented a little car/basket for the babies to ride in, that Paige would push. And I pushed the big basket. This plan started out a success. The babies were entertained for about 12.5 minutes. Then the wanted out, or fought with each other, or sank down into the dirty floorboard and got stuck, or tried to climb out the front of the car while it was in motion. So I opened a box of fruit snacks and kept a steady stream going to keep them happy. And we shopped and shopped and shopped. Took two different bathroom breaks. And shopped some more. At this time we had been there a little over 2 hours. Both baskets were full and I was tired and the little girls were fussy. At the last bathroom break Paige and Avery were in the restroom and Blaise was really crying. She wanted me to hold her and she kept saying Night-Night. She was tired and not feeling good. (I found out yesterday she had an ear infection) So I was trying to hold and console her over my ever-growing belly. And then it happened.

**The heavens open and the hallelujah chorus plays**

A worker says to me, "Why don't you let me push your basket to the check out so you can hold your baby?"

I agree and we start the procession to the front. Me carrying Blaise, followed by a prancing Avery and Bailey, followed by Paige with a basket bigger than her, followed by the most wonderful HEB worker ever pushing another full basket. Then beautiful HEB worker says something to another equally beautiful HEB worker and they open a lane just for me. All other lanes were about 3 people deep. Then second beautiful HEB worker gets a third beautiful worker who then proceeds to unload all of my groceries onto the conveyor belt. And at last gets a fourth equally beautiful worker to carry out my groceries and arrange them, with the bread on top, in the back of my SUV. I left thanking God for his favor and praying he would bless all those wonderful women who helped a tired pregnant women with four children.

This is just another reason I love HEB.

The New Year!!

2008-01-02T10:56:00.000-06:00

2008. A new year, another chance. There are a lot of things I want to do and be in 2008. Some I didn't accomplish in 2007. Some of them, I did not experience to the fullest. Billy and I went to dinner alone (yay!!) the other day and we talked about a lot of things. Here are some things we want to do in 2008.

Billy -
Pursue God more passionately than before
Pursue me more passionately than before
Be excellent with our finances

Francesca -
Pursue God more passionately than before (especially the word of God)
Invest more in my marriage
Loose weight (yes loose, not lose)

I came to this conclusion. The things I want the most out of, I am going to invest the most in. Relationships, health, the Bible. Why have I expected large dividends in places I have not made investments. So, I want an amazing marriage (it isn't bad, I just want glorious) I am going to invest. Deeper friendships, invest. Health, invest.

Where are you going to invest this year?

Observation of the Day!

2007-12-31T13:16:00.000-06:00

I find a significant amount of my time spent barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. What do you think this means?

Christmas!

2007-12-27T13:25:00.000-06:00

Something strange happens to me around Christmas time. I get a little overwhelmed. I want to buy great presents for my kids, family and friends, but I get overwhelmed at the thought of spending thousands of dollars to make that happen. I want to find the balance. I think there is nothing wrong with giving gifts or getting them, I love to do both. But I find it bothersome when that process involves stress, guilt and more money that a few house payments. This Christmas we didn't put a tree up. We didn't have a lot of room and so there was no Christmas spirit evident around our house. No lights or ornaments of presents under the tree. It was a little depressing for the kids and a little for me also. Christmas eve the whole family went to Abilene, finished last minute shopping, ate lunch and then picked up Monica's kids and went to see National Treasure. We had a great time. But towards the end of the day when we were figuring out how the order of the day would go tomorrow, I began to feel it again. Would me kids feel diappointed. I wasn't able to buy for everyone, would they be upset? Is Christmas morning going to be sad and pathetic with no tree or anything? By the time I left Monica's to come home I was in a full-fledged melt-down. I spent the whole ride home trying not to cry which gave me an incredible headache. I stopped by Pam's for some wrapping paper, and I was busted. After I left she called me and asked the dreaded question... "Are you alright?" How is it that this question strips you bare. I proceeded to cry and be ridiculous. She was sweet and understanding. The next morning was wonderful, though. They were thrilled with their presents. I decided the majority of the night before was a combination of exhaustion and pregnancy hormones. Christmas was wonderful and relaxing. The kids and us were blessed, as always. I wonder why I fretted in the first place.

But I am left wondering if this same present delimma will raise it's head next year. Will it always be there. As we make more money and our kids get older will we spend more? When is it too much. I guess this is a question every family has to figure out for themselves.

Cat-astrophe!

2007-12-19T16:32:00.000-06:00

We had a terrible thing happen yesterday. Our little kitten got hit by a car. When the girls came home from school they saw it in the middle of the road. It was still alive and they picked it up and brought it back. I told them to set it down and see if it could walk. When she did it tried to move but could only drag it's back legs. It was so sad. Now, I am not really an animal person. But the sight of that little kitten trying to drag itself under our steps was more than I could take. Not to mention the Paige and Bailey immediately started crying hysterically. I called Billy and he told me Dusty was coming to get it around 5 to go "put it down". I told the girls we were going to have to put it down, and that they had 20 minutes to say bye. The girls sat around it and pet it and told it goodbye. It broke my heart to see their little hearts broken. But the saddest thing that came from this chain of events was this question from Paige.

"I prayed for a miracle and God didn't do it. Why?"

I answered it the best I could.

"I don't know, but I know God is good."

What a day!

2007-12-13T22:08:00.000-06:00

This was quite a day. It went like this.

I woke up at 6:50.
Woke up the girls.
Gave them clothes.
Preheated the oven.
Turned on my Chi.
Mixed cookie dough.
Put cookies in oven that Bailey had to have for her class.
Straightened my hair.
Took cookies out, packaged them for school.
Took kids to school.
Had coffee with Pam and Cherith.
Made 25 burritos (this is my new job if you didn't know)
Had them, me, and my children ready to walk out the door at 9:45
Dropped burritos off at HPB.
Went to bank.
Drove to Monica's to drop off girls.
Picked up Emily and took her to Marsha's.
Went to my doctors appointment.
Went to the Mall to look for Paige a jacket.
Met Monica and girls for lunch.
Drove pack to Clyde to pick up Paige for an orthodontist app.
Stopped by house to pick up stuff.
Went to dentist.
Went back to the mall with 3 of my 4 kids.
Shopped unsuccessfully for 2 hours.
Bought a pretzel.
Left the mall.
Went to HEB for more burrito supplies.
Went to dry cleaners to pick up Avery's dress for Ira's wedding.
Went to Marsha's to pick up new clothes for Paige.
Drove back to Clyde.
Went to HPB to pick up Bailey.
Went home to unload all the stuff in my car.
Organized said clothes.
Straightened up kitchen.
Made PB&J's for the kids.
Got them to bed.
Made french toast for my sweet husband (@10pm)
Sat down at the computer.

It has been a really full day and I am beat. Tomorrow and the next are just the same. I need supernatural strength and endurance from heaven. There have been a few times this week when I wanted to just sit down and cry. I pray my sleep would be multiplied tonight. Good-night.

The Big Day!

2007-12-06T15:57:00.000-06:00

So today was the big day. We had to be at Dr. Carlton's office at 8 am. It really didn't take too long for her to get her braces on. She was a trooper. I think they make her look older. What do you think of them?

Growing Up!

2007-12-01T20:39:00.000-06:00

Tuesday I had to take Paige to two dentist appointments. So all day it was just me and her. It was during the course of this day I began to notice some interesting things about my oldest baby. She really isn't a baby anymore. Well not really, but kinda. As the day went on I saw a strange mix of kid/young women things emerge from her. I looked at her that morning and thought to myself, "she is going to be a teenager if I blink my eyes." But I found there is still some little girl in her.

Everywhere we went throughout the day she wanted to hold my hand. She wasn't embarrassed at all. She, like the child she is, unashamedly clung to me in every store and along every stroll. This is the child I know.

As we were being seated in the Olive Garden the lady grabbed a coloring sheet and crayons. I immediately thought Paige would not want them. But as we sat at our table she grabbed a bright blue crayon and happily worked on mazes and puzzles without the slightest hesitation.

When we went to her next appointment she was a little nervous and wanted me to go back with her. But when we got back there she was so big and brave about things I would have cried and curled up into the fetal position over. A little later they put a boy in the seat next to her. He was about twelve and very cute. I saw her notice him. Before my very eyes I saw a little more of the child slide away and some young women take hold.

About midnight I was pulled from a deep slumber to Paige standing by my bed holding her stomach. Before I could even give her any directions she ran to my bathroom and was sick. She called for me like a child, and Lord forgive me, it was sweet to my ears. I went in and held her hair back and wipe her face with a cool washrag and when she was done I hugged her like a little baby.

As I think back to this one day I see all the signs. Soon enough she may not want to hold my hand everywhere we go. She may not need me as much as she does now. She may brutally rebuff the offer of a coloring page at restaurants. And she may obsess about her clothes and notice every boy within a 10 foot range. But not today. And that is enough for me.

Post # 100!!!!!

2007-11-20T22:17:00.000-06:00

Here are 100 things about me!!

1. I am writing a book.
2. I love anything cinnamon.
3. I leave the cabinet doors open all the time.
4. I am scared of chickens.
5. I lovelove when I get into bed after Billy is already asleep and he reaches for me and pulls me close.
6. I love to watch Billy work with his hands.
7. I can be very messy.
8. I have at least five birthmarks.
9. I love to go to the movies.
10. I hate putting laundry away.
11. I am crazy in love with my dishwasher.
12. I have never done drugs.
13. When Billy plugs in my cell phone it makes me feel taken care of.
14. I am believing for a big great house.
15. I have been married 11 years.
16. I am really a romantic at heart.
17. I love my friends.
18. Some days I may talk to Pam 7 or 8 times.
19. I have seen four babies born (other than my own)
20. I could be seriously addicted to TV.
21. I don’t really like chick flicks.
22. I want to see a creative miracle (if I had a choice, Miles)
23. I want to travel everywhere with Billy, particularly Italy
24. I used to love Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. (Was sad when the series ended)
25. I don’t like pizza really.
26. I have been pregnant or nursing a baby almost 5 years out of the last 12 years.
27. I have a strange phobia of mail. It piles up and I get overwhelmed.
28. My dad was born in Sicily.
29. My brother Giancarlo is a marine who just got back from Iraq.
30. I am an avid reader and a poor speller.
31. I kill plants.
32. I have been to 10 of the 50 states. (Tx, La, Ms, Al, NM, Ok, Co, Ar, Az, Ca)
33. I have a hard time telling 100 things about myself.
34. My grandparents used to have a grape vineyard.
35. I have spoken, in person, to Kris Vallatton.
36. I walked away and he then forgot me immediately.
37. I had my picture taken with James Blake.
38. I walked away and he then forgot me immediately.
39. I love coconut coffee creamer.
40. I want to be thinner by the time I am 30. (Lots thinner)
41. I have an associate’s degree in Practical Ministry.
42. I am in love with my dishwasher. (It’s a little creepy)
43. I would like Daniel Oppong to sing me to sleep (get your mind out of the gutter, while Billy is holding me)
44. I like salad better when someone else makes it.
45. I miss playing basketball.
46. I love it when Billy has on jeans but no shirt (yum!!)
47. When people fall down I laugh hysterically.
48. I plan to live to 100.
49. Sometimes I want to take Billy’s cell phone and smash it with a hammer. (Enter in sinister laugh from Yzma from The Emperor’s New Groove)
50. I love to worship.
51. My love language is words of affirmation and physical touch.
52. I plan to one day see my books on shelves across the world.
53. I am blessed with the most wonderful kids in the world.
54. I like to cook, but have an aversion to the planning and cleaning up process.
55. I love all kinds of pasta.
56. I want to know the whole Bible.
57. I am watching Oprah’s Favorite Things 2007 right now.
58. I want to go to back to Mexico SOON!!!
59. Billy bought me a pair of beautiful diamond earrings that I will cherish forever.
60. Forty more things about me, really???
61. I love epic battle movies.
62. I like my steaks medium.
63. I hate bananas. (The flavor, the texture, everything)
64. I love the band Switchfoot.
65. I DO NOT listen to Air One. (Don’t tell Billy)
66. I love CSI and The Biggest Loser.
67. Sometimes when Pam talks about her garden and chickens I wonder how we are best friends.
68. I have been known to be a little pushy. (Can you believe it?)
69. My hair is naturally curly. (No, I did not get a perm, do people even do that anymore?)
70. I spend the majority of my grooming time trying to tame said crazy curls.
71. I have overcome my fear of flying.
72. I love to make Billy laugh.
73. I love Wikipedia.
74. I love my sister.
75. I pray God shows up big in Erica’s life.
76. I hate busy phones. (Who doesn’t have call waiting in this day and age?)
77. I have never given blood.
78. I will never bungee jump. (There is never anything soft at the end of that fall)
79. I was pregnant my sophomore and senior years of high school.
80. I think Billy will be sexy when he goes a little grey at the temples.
81. I love that people tell me all the time that my kids are wonderful.
82. I graduated with honors 12th in my class.
83. I used to work at the prison in Abilene. (Middleton Unit)
84. I want a snowy Christmas.
85. I want to have the house that holds all the parties.
86. I once ran out of gas in the rain and had to go into the jail in Abilene to use the phone.
87. I feel very strongly about abortion (don’t do it)
88. Billy and I quote movie lines all the time.
89. I am more in love with Billy now than ever.
90. My paternal grandmother lives in Milan, Italy.
91. My maternal great-grandfather lived until he was 102.
92. I burn the bread sometimes. (Joel says this is the trademark of a real chef)
93. Sometimes I avoid current events because they are depressing.
94. I was filled with the Holy Spirit when I was 17.
95. I lived with Kathy and Endgate for 2 years.
96. I love to curl up with a good book, a good blanket, and a good beverage.
97. I want to preach a sermon in front of our body one day.
98. Blaise makes me laugh.
99. My personality is pure D. (driving and dominant, in case any of you were unsure)
100. I never thought I would blog and here I am – 100 POSTS!!

Truth behind the story -

2007-11-16T07:29:00.000-06:00

I feel like I need to elaborate about yesterday's post. The Dr. did indeed do a ultrasound. He was in a rush and here is how it went.

Dr. - Let's take a look.
F - (waiting breathlessly)
Dr. - Well, we may not get a clear view.
F - Oh, don't say that!
Dr. - Let's measure the leg bone.
F. - . . . .
Dr. - Well the legs are very close together, I can't see any boy parts, so I am going to say girl.
F. - (Me, surprised) really?
Dr. - We will do another ultrasound in a few months. Have a good day!

So it wasn't clear to anyone. But I felt like I couldn't just keep saying it is a boy when the trained professional who treats me just said it was a girl. Pam seems to think I am crazy. I was disappointed. And of course I felt guilty for feeling disappointed. So I don't really know what to do. So that is the whole story.

2007-11-15T15:50:00.000-06:00

Went to the dr. today. He did an ultrasound. He said it's a girl.

Braces

2007-11-13T13:59:00.000-06:00

Paige needs braces. It is a sad fact. She, of course, is extremely excited. As if I was buying her a new car and throwing in a cell phone. She doesn't realize what this will truly entail. But I want her to have them. When she is sixteen she will be happy we did.

Yesterday we went to the consultation with Dr. Carrolton. He held the mold of Paige's mouth and told us all our options. He waited to the very end to drop the bomb. He reaches behind the things on the table and pulls out what Paige really needs . . . Orthodontic Headgear. As soon as he said the words I started to laugh, which is terrible I know. But this is what I pictured . . .

Really it will something more like this . . .

She only has to wear it 12 hours a day. So maybe from 7pm to 7am. For about 6 months. So after 20 months of wearing these braces. About 4,ooo dollars and many more appointments she should have perfect teeth. The only thing she wanted to know was why she couldn't wear the headgear to school. "Because I don't want you to get your ass kicked everyday for 6 months." I didn't really say that. Something much more maternal. I am always tender like that.

Update

2007-11-09T09:13:00.000-06:00

It has been a long time since my last post. I just figured I should write something.

Me and all my children have had a stinking cold for over a week. We are crammed in the petri-dish of a house breathing all over each other. I have been spraying the Lysol regularly. I think it is almost over.

Billy & I have our eye on a super terrific house. It would take a little doing on God's part, we'll see what happens.

Well, Erica moved out and my mom moved back in. Things are tight, but I am glad she is back.

Billy started his new job. No more driving to Odessa. No more 16 hour days. He is really enjoying it. I am so happy for him. It just shows, if you can be excellent where you are, even in your frustration, God will promote you. I think I need to master this principle.

I go to the dr. again next week. I am going to beg for a sono. Why make me wait another month. I will be almost 19 weeks along. He can tell the sex of the baby. I want to know for sure.

That is about all I can muster right now. I will hopefully report back sooner rather than later.

A Reprieve!

2007-10-26T07:08:00.000-06:00

Well, I can echo Aaron's thoughts today. It has been a lousy week. I have had a myriad of emotions. But, with all that said, I am so excited about the birthday party Pam has planned for me tonight. I am thrilled about an evening with my nearest and dearest, with fun conversations, good food, and presents!!! I will consider this evening a reprieve. I believe it is these refreshing times that strengthen us to go back into the fray of battle. Thank you Jesus for reprieves!!

World Series?

2007-10-21T20:48:00.000-06:00

The other day Billy was paying the water bill when one of the workers asked him if he was related to Travis Hafner. Now, Travis Hafner plays professional baseball for the Cleveland Indians who happen to be playing in the championship to move on to the world series. So, Billy's response to the lady was, "Yep, we sure are!"

When he came home and told me this I have razzed him all week. Just because we have the same last name doesn't mean we are related. So tonight while the Indians played the Red Sox in game 7 I decided to do a little research on our long lost cousin. I could find no family information, but I did find this . . .

So, what do you think?!?!

How about this!!

2007-10-12T13:53:00.000-06:00

Well, I have had a complaint from one of my fans (Brandi) so I figured it was time for a new post. So I thought to myself, I do have a little piece of info that is quite post-worthy.

I had a sonogram today. Everything looked good. Baby looked perfect. I am 13 weeks and 4 days which luckily is farther that he first figured. Then the doctor began to look at the baby's head and spine and hands and leg and then he said this - "Oh, there is a bump. If I had to guess I would say this is a BOY!!" He then proceeded to say it is still early and we won't know for sure until later blah, blah, blah. But I heard the word - BOY!! We have tried to be a little restrained knowing he wasn't positive, but it is really hard to not scream like a little girl and jump up and down. So there is a little news from the Hafner front.

October 6, 1996

2007-10-02T13:11:00.000-06:00

Almost eleven years ago was my wedding day. Here is how this day went. I got up, had breakfast and lounged around the house til almost noon. I took a shower and shaved my legs. I then ate a BLT from Thrifty's. Said BLT did not settle well on the early pregnancy, so I spent the next 30 minutes sitting very still. I put my make-up on and got dressed in my off-white, knee length dress, WITH JACKET, and fixed my hair. At this point I will point out we were to be married at 2 pm. It was now 1:45 and I realized I am going to be late to my own wedding. So I ended up with a bad hair do and my lips were lined with lip-liner, but I couldn't find any gloss to fill them.

I rush up to and into the church right at 2. I find in the hallway Billy's dad has three of my friends pinned in the corner as he cries and talks about how lonely he is going to be now. Kathy is in the back preparing for my reception. And there were about 20-30 people waiting in the sanctuary for me. I quietly slipped in and went and sat across the aisle from Billy, who was already there waiting for me. There would be no walking down the aisle for this girl. That is a privilege reserved for the pure I guess. But when I sat down and looked across the aisle at Billy, he said something that still moves my heart to this day. He looked at me with all the confidence he was probably not feeling and said, "Hi, Angel." All my nerves disappeared and all the love I could hold in my seventeen year old heart spilled over for him. After a simple service and an awkward reception we got ready to slip out. Amy and Krissy handed me a Victoria's Secret bag with a beautiful nightie, that I still have, and my brother gave us $100 that we quickly spent. We were saying our goodbyes and getting ready to head to the hotel when Billy's older sister Alana asked us to give her and her two children a ride to her house.

So all five of us loaded up, we made a pit-stop to drop off Alana and then made our way to the hotel. We got there, check in and we getting ready to start the Honeymoon. Right about that time we received a phone call from Alana saying she had left Gabriel's bottle in the car and she needed it now. So Billy went back across town to take Alana her bottle. Meanwhile I am beginning our marriage with some very hard feelings. As the weekend went on we got food poisoning from Rick and Carolyn's ( luckily it only lasted one evening) and we received a prank call from Brandon Hawk which I am still trying to forgive him for. So looking back I can say we had an adventurous first few days of marriage. But that is nothing compared to the next ten or so years. But that is for another day.

The Appliance Anointing!

2007-09-27T21:16:00.000-06:00

I believe I may have unprecedented favor in a certain area. I have the appliance anointing. Today I was given money for a brand new dishwasher. It is installed and beautiful. I came home from the children's church meeting and heard it softly purring as it scrubbed all my dirtiest dishes. Billy was so sweet to load it.

I began to think back and here is what I realized.

* 3.5 years ago - I was given a wonderful refrigerator and microwave. I still have them and they are great.

*3.5 years ago - I was given a used but very nice washer and dryer.

*1.5 years ago - I was given a cute red coffee maker - I still use it every Tues. & Thurs.

* 60 days ago - I was bought a awesome brand new front loading washer and dryer after previously mentioned washer died.

*Today - Brand new dishwasher.

This is almost unheard of. It is the favor and blessing of God. I have never, in 11 years of marriage, had to buy a major appliance. God is Good!

Too Busy?

2007-09-25T15:35:00.000-06:00

Saturday morning I was up rather early doing laundry. I glanced out the window of my laundry room and saw a beautiful sunrise. I dismissed it quickly and went back to folding the never-ending pile of laundry my four offsprings produce. I paused and thought to myself, "Are you really too busy to see God's beautiful creation?" So I abandoned the laundry, grabbed my camera and went out to snap a few shots. The temperature was perfect. Birds chirped, squirrels frolicked, a light morning dew rested on the grass. It was beautiful. So this picture is my salute to taking the time to see the sun rise.

Paige

2007-09-21T15:02:00.000-06:00

Yesterday Blaise managed to get on top of a small nightstand in the girls room. Somehow she fell off of it and knocked it over. It landed on her foot and broke the knob off. It immediately bruised her ankle and she cried a lot. I picked her up and brought her into the living room to console her. We were sitting on the couch when Paige walked in. This is how the conversation went.

(Paige in tears)
Paige: Mom, it is my fault Blaise got hurt.
Me: How is that?
Paige: Well, Blaise saw me sitting on the night stand and she always wants to do what I do.
I walked out of the room and I should have stayed to watch over her. I take responsibility for her getting hurt.
Me: Well Paige, I am glad you told me, and I forgive you.
(Paige exits tremulously smiling, promising to go and watch over her sister.)

This kid is something else.

Better late than never!

2007-09-08T15:46:00.000-06:00

So, obviously - vacation is over. I just wanted to post a few of my pictures.

This one is Elliott taking pictures of John, I just loved the sun behind him though.

These are Blaise's first footprints in the sand!

Blaise LOVED the beach!

I just loved this one.

Since Pam gave you all the info, I could be purly artistic. I am just sad I didn't take more pictures.

Blaise

2007-09-01T17:35:00.000-06:00

The other day I lost Blaise . . . this is where I found her. Just hanging out in the dryer. Warm clothes and a small opening, she thought it looked perfect.

Confession is good for the soul.

2007-08-30T10:13:00.000-06:00

I have a confession to make. This is hard, but for this relationship to continue I have to be completely honest. I have been a selfish blogger. I have come to the realization that it is all about what I can get, not what I can give. I want to read about your lives, but say I am too busy to comment. I want you to read my few and far between posts and comment, but I haven't extended the same courtesy. Relationships aren't 50 - 50. They don't work if each only gives half. Relationships only work if we both give 100%. So . . . I am so terribly sorry for my selfish and inconsiderate behavior. This relationship is important to me, even if I haven't acted like it. Will you forgive me? I don't think I could go on if you didn't forgive me. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful new season for us.

So, deep breath, let's both wipe our eyes and put this behind us. Remember, love keeps no record of wrongs. Thank you for letting me get this off my chest. That is why I love you so much!!

Mystery Wedding?

2007-08-29T15:31:00.000-06:00

Billy and I have received 2 pieces of mail in the last 3 months that have stumped us. The first was a save the date notice for the wedding of Hilary Pike and Kirk Boen. I racked my brain trying to place these names and came up with a blank. Today we received the actual wedding invitation. Neither Billy or I have any idea who they are. The letter was addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Billy Hafner, 503 Munson, Clyde TX. So if any of you have any idea who these two are, please let me know.

Surprise!!

2007-08-16T22:30:00.001-06:00

God is SOOOOO smart!!

2007-08-16T07:06:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, while checking the forecast for Dauphin Island I noticed a little something. There is a tropical depression or whatever coming through the Gulf of Mexico right now, which means that if we would have gotten the original house in South Padre, we would be out of luck. The coast is expecting heavy rainfall. I was so frustrated when the house fell though, twice. But to step back and look at the big picture now, is beautiful. We have a better house, on a better beach, for better money and with better weather. Isn't that just the kind of God my God is. More than we could ask, think or imagine. So God knew what He was doing. This increases my faith in some other areas. When something passes by, there must be something better coming.

Here is what is going on.

2007-08-15T09:46:00.000-06:00

This morning I got up early, had a shower, and then went to see Ally, Jason and Chelsa's new baby girl. She is beautiful. She looks just like Jason. It was so nice to hold such a little baby. There are definitely some stirrings going on. One more baby, yeah I think so.

Our vacation is just around the corner. Today I am taking the girls swimming at Krissy's. Tomorrow Pam and I are doing our school shopping and anything we need for the trip. Friday . . . We are out of here. I am so excited. Billy had been working so hard, he really needs a vacation. The girls are so excited. They are counting down the days.

On a spiritual note - I am working through some stuff right now. I have been having a difficult time with the whole "in God's timing". I know that is the truth and I know God is good. There are just some things I have been waiting for it seems like forever. Some not so long. But this has definitely been a season of waiting. I am not crazy about those seasons. But I feel that it is just around the corner. I want the word of God to divide soul and spirit in this area.

Hebrews 10:35-36 "So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

The Plan!

2007-08-09T21:15:00.000-06:00

We are meeting at the Roadhouse at 7pm Friday. If you want to car pool from Clyde, call me. I have room for 6 more in my car. I am excited. No kids, no boys, no agenda. Just what I need.

Girl's NIght - Take Two!!

2007-08-09T10:19:00.000-06:00

So, I was thinking about how much fun I had at our last girls night. I was thinking it may be time for another one soon. Maybe Sat. Night. or something. I am going on vacation next Friday, so sometime before that. My only request is this: NO DRINKING!!

I want Rachel to come, and I have also had a small nudge from the Lord about this question. It is permissible, but is it beneficial. So if you are interested, let me know. I love being in the company of my wonderful girlfriends. It doesn't hurt that I am four children lighter. HeeHee

God is so GOOD!!

2007-08-04T15:24:00.000-06:00

I got a phone call today. Someone is buying me a new washer and dryer. These are the ones I have chosen. I am picking them up tomorrow. Isn't God so good. He takes care of my every need. It makes me wonder why I ever worried in the first place.

Update -

2007-08-03T04:32:00.001-06:00

Well, I thought an update was in order.

Avery's arm was not broken. It was just Nurse Maid's elbow. That is a dislocating of the elbow something or other. Brent put it back into place. She screamed and she is still favoring it quiet a bit. I think it is still sore. She should be better in no time.

Blaise is feeling fine today. It must have been something she ate.

Trish came and got the throw up sheets to wash them (I love you Trish!!)

H-E-B called and said they would reimburse my doctor's bills. (I will interject here that Wal-Mart would have probably told me to get a paper towel and clean up any spills in the aisle. One more reason I love H-E-B)

My knee is just sore today.

Washer is still a problem. I haven't figured out what I am going to do yet.

But overall a major improvement. Thank you Jesus!! I even think I am going to get a nap. Thanks for all your prayers and encouraging comments. They were needed. I love you!!

Under Attack -

2007-08-03T04:32:00.000-06:00

Well, it is 5:30 in the morning, but I have been up since 3. This is how my week has been.

First of all my washer broke Tuesday. I had to go to the laundry mat, which wasn't so bad. I got 8 loads done in 2 hours. But now the laundry is piling up again.

Yesterday I went grocery shopping. I slipped inside on a puddle of water and re-injured my hurt knee. I ended up going to Dr. J's at about 4. Dr. Kinchloe did x-rays. Luckily, nothing was broken. But that visit cost my $140. When I found out nothing was broken, I wanted to ask for my money back. Anyway.

Then, last night the girls were wrestling and Avery got hurt. I think her arm is broken. She is holding it close to her body and won't let me move it. I am so freaking mad. I was mad at the girls because they were being too rough with her. I wondered if someone is going to report me to CPS. Two broken bones on one little girl in less than half a year. So she woke up crying at 3 because her arm hurt. I carried her into my room and put her in my bed. She took my space so I just sat beside her and comforted her while she cried off and on. She finally dozed off at about4. So I laid down at the end of the bed and dozed for about 30 minutes.

Next, Paige comes running into my room telling me that Blaise threw up. So I run into her room. She has indeed thrown up, everywhere. I take her out of her bed and give her a bath. I then strip the sheets and blankets out of her bed . But, alas, I have no washer. So because they smelled so bad I put them in a garbage bag until I can figure out what to do.

So while I was up I went ahead and gave the kitchen a good clean. Blaise came in and threw up on the floor again, so I mopped. Anyway. It is getting close to 6 now. I am going to have to take Avery to get her arm checked out so I better get ready.

Please pray -
- Avery's arm is healed
- Blaise is healed
- My knee is healed
- I can recover the rest I lost last tonight
- Money for these stupid doctor's bills
- Attack to stop

Thank You!!

2007-07-22T18:20:00.000-06:00

I had such a fun time last night. I really needed it. I love each of you more every time we spend time together. These are just a few of the things I love about each of you from last night.

Jennifer - Said shocking improper things that made me laugh very hard

Brandi - Shared the good smooth stuff

Pam - Let me sip her swirl

Erica - Didn't break Becky's camera after I got THE SHOT

Becky - Documented it all with her camera and talent

Cherith - Drove and opened up about some random stuff that showed me a new side of her

Brenda - Brought party favors

Kathy - She is just fun whether you are praying or having a girls night, she's just fun

Ashley - She is like adding jewelry to an already cute outfit, just spices things up

Krissy - Reminisced about the old days

Amy - Reminded me of how we met, and how much I love to be with her

So anyway, I think we should do that more often. All the pressure that was building after weeks alone with my kids has seemed to disapate now. Thank you!!

So here is the plan!

2007-07-19T08:18:00.001-06:00

Saturday Night. Meet at 6:30PM, 7PM, Abuelo's. Pregnant girls are the D.D. Who's in?

Girl's night out, anyone?

2007-07-19T08:18:00.000-06:00

Well, it has been awhile since I posted last. So here is what is up. I have been feeling a little stressed the last few days. I have been short with the kids and have felt a little b****y. I begin to examine why I feel this way and here is what I have come up with. I think it has been almost 2 weeks since I have done anything without my kids. (excluding a short Theophostic session) Sunday I was in the nursery, I had Avery Thurs and Fri during Allen and Courtney's wedding stuff. I never realize how much I need some time until I don't have it. Billy has been working 16 hour days and so he hasn't been able to help much. He is in a season right now where he just has to get things done and I don't resent him for it. I think a girl's night is in order. Maybe Saturday or something. All I know is that I need to get a babysitter and have some time with my girlfriends.

Allen and Court's Wedding

2007-07-12T21:45:00.000-06:00

Due to my little Avery being in Allen and Court's wedding tomorrow, I will not be able to go to the state park. Avery needs to be rested and in the best of moods. So this is three weeks in a row that we will miss. By the way, sorry Brandi that no one showed but you last week. I am at least glad you had fun. So, I hope there will be another state park day soon in the future. Peace Out!!

Update!!!

2007-07-02T09:53:00.000-06:00

Lately all my writing energy has gone to my book. I have found that I don't have much to say on my blog. But for love of my Becky, here I am.

So the book is coming along. I haven't had good uninterrupted time to write. So I just get to it when I can. I have almost 60 pages right now. I am also writing a few things on the side. So writing takes up most of my free time. But I did get the desk and computer from my mom's. So I have a good comfortable place to work.

I am also a little busy with all the kids home. They are all home. All day. All of them. Anyway. I have to cook more and clean more and straighten more and do more laundry and kiss scrapes more and referee disagreements more wipe noses and hineys more. You get the picture. More is required. Keeps me busy. I can't wait for the Methodist Church camps to start. Both the big girls are going . Monday - Fri, 9-3, 4 weeks in a row. Hallelujah. Don't get me wrong. I love my girls. We just live in a small space. We have like 4 square feet per person. Just kidding, it is more like 8 square feet.

The fast has been going good. I haven't missed TV at all. I really thought I would. The eating out has been harder. I did cave once. But God's grace is sufficient.

The Community Service was good. I thought Bryan did terrific. I was glad to get to share my testimony, even though I did cry a little.

I am even excited about the Centennial thing. I think Erica is rubbing off on me.

Billy's job is going good. He just has to work a lot right now. He is working like 100 hours a week. So it keeps him really busy. On a side note, I am just crazy about Billy. Can't seen to not be.

So there are some thing going on with me. Be Blessed.

Rain Check -

2007-06-28T13:28:00.000-06:00

Well, the forecast for tomorrow is scattered thunderstorms, 60% chance of precipitation. High of 77. So I guess the first State Park Friday is cancelled. We are really bummed, but I can't complain about the rain. I feel it is a physical sign of the spiritual outpouring coming. People will have to go to high ground or be swept away. It will wash away the old and usher in a season of new life. It will be refreshing and invigorating. This rain will cause much growth. But as for swimming, today I let the girls slip and slide on the trampoline in the rain, I guess that is the closest they are getting to swimming this week. Hopefully next week will be sunny again.

I have a proposal!!

2007-06-22T12:53:00.000-06:00

What do you say to State Park Fridays? 11ish - 3ish. Whoever can come, come and bring your own food. I really had a good time and now that I know Blaise is a little water baby I am not worried about taking all of them. If you have a better suggestion or idea, that is great. I am not trying to be pushy, which I have realized I can be. Just thought a plan would be good. What do you think?