I once was lost, but now I'm found!

In light of Pam's recent dream (if you haven't read it go to pamelotta.blogspot.com, it's awesome) I began to think of the things that have been lost or stolen in my own life. God told me to make a list. I am believing for returns. Now some of these things may have already been returned, but most have not. So this is my stake in the ground. These things that have been lost or stolen will be returned with interest. So this is my list in no particular order.

-innocence
-carefree childhood
-relationship with my dad
-a brother-in-law
-years of confidence
-a healthy body
-$100 bill
-about $800 from when our car got broke into (that includes repairing windows and things stolen from inside)
-a daughter
-26,000 (school loans)
-1 1/2 years of marriage
-2 purses full of my stuff
-a grey skirt I really liked
-going to college
-years of knowing my younger sister Fiarella and my brother Giancarlo
-growing up with both parents
-thousands of dollars in car repairs
-money put into 512 Cherry St.
-felling safe and secure as a child
-my sophomore and senior years in high school
-a good reputation
-a good credit score
-prosperity

There is more I'm sure, but this is a start. Some of these things may be a result of my sin, but I have felt like all were lost, never to be regained. So I included them on this list. What has been lost or stolen in your life?

What am I doing?

Last night I had class, also had a test I didn't feel completely confident about. So my plan was to go to town a little early, grab a small bite to eat (since I hadn't eaten dinner), eat in my car and study for about 20 minutes before class. Billy had to work late so I didn't get to go to the gym. So I decided to go get a burrito from Bueno. I pulled up to the light at Industrial and Buffalo Gap Rd and realized it was 6:18, which meant I was going to be late. So I skipped Bueno headed straight to class. Took the test, did fine. We got out of class early and I was faced with some options. Go to the gym since I didn't get to earlier (they are open til 10), go straight home, or go to Bueno. So not only did I go to Bueno I ordered ridiculous food and ate all of it. Who ever thought of making Cheesecake Chimichangas. So after to ten minutes of eating, I've been through approximately 20 hours and 36 minutes of "What the heck were you doing." I sabotage myself. I work out very hard in the gym, then I make bad choices eating, get frustrated that I am not seeing any results from working out and decide it's not working, I might as well forget it. Makes me so mad. After years and years of making the wrong choices I find it is not always easy to make the right ones every time. But I want to remember this feeling. The next time the fast food demon calls my name I want to remember this disgust and regret I feel at my shallow self-discipline. I know the small fleeting fleshly joy that comes from good food is nothing compared to the empowering I feel every time I make a hard choice and it's the right decision. I believe this is probably what men feel like when they look at pornography. Strong tug, internal battle, give in for a moment of satisfaction and have days of guilt for not being stronger. So I guess porn can come in different forms. Pray for me!!!

Ask, Seek and Knock!

I believe I did something significant in the spiritual realm today. After prayer I pulled up in front of "the house". I once again asked God for it. I told Him I refused to be denied. Just the Becky pulled up behind me and told me to "Come on." As we walked around the house she prayed a prophetic prayer and we visualized me and my family and friends in this house. As we got around the front she told me to go knock on the door. We asked, seeked (not sure if that is a word), and now it was time to knock. So I walked onto the front porch and knocked on the front door (lucky for me no one was home). As I did that I felt my heart turn over. I felt like I had done something significant. Thank you Becky for believing with me and being the wild prophetic woman that you are :)

1738 Alamo Court -

Billy and I have moved 14 times since being married. We have lived in 3 different apartments, 4 trailers (we lived in one trailer 2 different times), my mom's house, a concessions stand where we shared the bathroom with two Hispanic ranch hands (ask me about it sometime), a place we affectionately call the cellar, and 4 different houses. Some were kinda nice. Some were not nice at all. Most were very small. But we have never owned a home. This makes me sad. I always dreamed on a house that I loved. A house where all my kids friends wanted to come, and we had the room for them. A house where my children had wonderful memories growing up in our wonderful home. Where we opened our home to friends, families and maybe even strangers as God led us. Now, my children our not deprived, nor am I. But I have always believed this desire would not be there if it wasn't supposed to be realized. Until now though I wasn't sure where I wanted to live. I only knew where we live now is so small I am beginning to lose my mind. We are literally on top of each other. But this last year a specific home was put on the market. 1738 Alamo Ct. I remember when me and Billy first got married Eddie and Tonie Farmer (Toby's family) lived in this home. They had us over because Tonie was helping us by taking me to appointments and stuff. I remember walking into the house and being amazed at how beautiful it was. Wondering what it was like to live in something so lovely. I fell in love with that house. Now ten years later it is for sale again. It has sat on the market forever because the realtor is asking an obscene amount of money for it. So there it is. An obscenely big and expensive house that I want very much. So in the natural I know it probably seems ridiculous that I should expect it. But God is asking me to dream big with him, so I am. So I have no idea how exactly we will get this house. There has been some interesting turns that lead me to believe that God is working in our favor. I have felt opposition. From the enemy, from my mind, from our checking account, and from people at times. It is not my heart to try to live out of our means. But it is the desire of my heart to have this home. My life doesn't hang on it. If for some reason I don't get it, I will cry and be disappointed and then get over it. But will you believe with me that God would make a supernatural way for us to have it. Will you pray that I will get "the how out of here"! I am not sure of the how's, but I know my God is willing and able. I am going to school to get a job to help with the financial increase a house payment would put on our finances. I believe this house is perfect for us. Almost everyday I drive to it and stop in front on it and ask God for it. I will continue until I possess it or God tells me a firm NO. I would probably be a miracle. But lucky for me I serve a God who majors in the supernatural. And as the 2 year old worship CD Mrs. Becky handed out this week says, "I have a mighty messiah that manifests miracles down in the depths of my heart. Where? Down in the depths of my heart!"

My babies with their babies and their babies!

So, most of you who know me know when I talk about my kids I call Paige and Bailey "the big girls" and Avery and Blaise "the babies". Some of you may not know that Avery has, for her whole life, called her pacifier a "baby". And those are their baby dolls they got for Christmas. So this is my babies with their babies and their babies!

We got to pray just to make it today! - MC Hammer

So, I need some prayer from all my fellow bloggers out there. The constest has started. Joined the Powershack. Go all the time. Love it. Eat great during the day. But when night gets here, and I have to cook for my family I find it harder to stay the course. I am trying to cook more healthy overall. But there are still some things they like, that I really don't need. So pray that I can be wise and be controlled by my spirit not my flesh.

The "V" Bomb -

I will begin this post with a warning. If you do not like the terms of female reproduction organs this post may not be for you. With that being said I will continue with my story. At my Medical Terminology class on Tuesday something strange happened. We were studying suffixes and we got to the word centesis. Which means a surgical puncture to aspirate fluid. A lady then says, "Oh, like amniocentesis." My teacher agreed. There then was some talk of the pain and procedure of the amniocentesis. It is when a very large needle is inserted in a pregnant woman's belly to collect a sample of her amniotic fluid. Then from across the room, Alberto says, "Yeah, they did that to my mom, but the put it right in her vagina." Are you kidding me, he just dropped the "V" bomb. But it didn't stop there. The teacher began to explain the procedure again, assuring him that it must have been something else. But he continued to insist that was done to "my mom's vagina" He then went on to describe what went into his "mom's vagina". By this time I was ready for a camera crew to jump out and tell me I was being "punked". What guy, other that a gynecologists, would say the word vagina out loud multiple times. And what makes it even worse was the word vagina was used in the same sentence as "my mom." I believe it would have been as offense and awkward if he would have dropped the "F" bomb. But that is just me!