Observation of the Day!

I find a significant amount of my time spent barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. What do you think this means?

Christmas!

Something strange happens to me around Christmas time. I get a little overwhelmed. I want to buy great presents for my kids, family and friends, but I get overwhelmed at the thought of spending thousands of dollars to make that happen. I want to find the balance. I think there is nothing wrong with giving gifts or getting them, I love to do both. But I find it bothersome when that process involves stress, guilt and more money that a few house payments. This Christmas we didn't put a tree up. We didn't have a lot of room and so there was no Christmas spirit evident around our house. No lights or ornaments of presents under the tree. It was a little depressing for the kids and a little for me also. Christmas eve the whole family went to Abilene, finished last minute shopping, ate lunch and then picked up Monica's kids and went to see National Treasure. We had a great time. But towards the end of the day when we were figuring out how the order of the day would go tomorrow, I began to feel it again. Would me kids feel diappointed. I wasn't able to buy for everyone, would they be upset? Is Christmas morning going to be sad and pathetic with no tree or anything? By the time I left Monica's to come home I was in a full-fledged melt-down. I spent the whole ride home trying not to cry which gave me an incredible headache. I stopped by Pam's for some wrapping paper, and I was busted. After I left she called me and asked the dreaded question... "Are you alright?" How is it that this question strips you bare. I proceeded to cry and be ridiculous. She was sweet and understanding. The next morning was wonderful, though. They were thrilled with their presents. I decided the majority of the night before was a combination of exhaustion and pregnancy hormones. Christmas was wonderful and relaxing. The kids and us were blessed, as always. I wonder why I fretted in the first place.

But I am left wondering if this same present delimma will raise it's head next year. Will it always be there. As we make more money and our kids get older will we spend more? When is it too much. I guess this is a question every family has to figure out for themselves.

Cat-astrophe!

We had a terrible thing happen yesterday. Our little kitten got hit by a car. When the girls came home from school they saw it in the middle of the road. It was still alive and they picked it up and brought it back. I told them to set it down and see if it could walk. When she did it tried to move but could only drag it's back legs. It was so sad. Now, I am not really an animal person. But the sight of that little kitten trying to drag itself under our steps was more than I could take. Not to mention the Paige and Bailey immediately started crying hysterically. I called Billy and he told me Dusty was coming to get it around 5 to go "put it down". I told the girls we were going to have to put it down, and that they had 20 minutes to say bye. The girls sat around it and pet it and told it goodbye. It broke my heart to see their little hearts broken. But the saddest thing that came from this chain of events was this question from Paige.

"I prayed for a miracle and God didn't do it. Why?"

I answered it the best I could.

"I don't know, but I know God is good."

What a day!

This was quite a day. It went like this.

I woke up at 6:50.
Woke up the girls.
Gave them clothes.
Preheated the oven.
Turned on my Chi.
Mixed cookie dough.
Put cookies in oven that Bailey had to have for her class.
Straightened my hair.
Took cookies out, packaged them for school.
Took kids to school.
Had coffee with Pam and Cherith.
Made 25 burritos (this is my new job if you didn't know)
Had them, me, and my children ready to walk out the door at 9:45
Dropped burritos off at HPB.
Went to bank.
Drove to Monica's to drop off girls.
Picked up Emily and took her to Marsha's.
Went to my doctors appointment.
Went to the Mall to look for Paige a jacket.
Met Monica and girls for lunch.
Drove pack to Clyde to pick up Paige for an orthodontist app.
Stopped by house to pick up stuff.
Went to dentist.
Went back to the mall with 3 of my 4 kids.
Shopped unsuccessfully for 2 hours.
Bought a pretzel.
Left the mall.
Went to HEB for more burrito supplies.
Went to dry cleaners to pick up Avery's dress for Ira's wedding.
Went to Marsha's to pick up new clothes for Paige.
Drove back to Clyde.
Went to HPB to pick up Bailey.
Went home to unload all the stuff in my car.
Organized said clothes.
Straightened up kitchen.
Made PB&J's for the kids.
Got them to bed.
Made french toast for my sweet husband (@10pm)
Sat down at the computer.

It has been a really full day and I am beat. Tomorrow and the next are just the same. I need supernatural strength and endurance from heaven. There have been a few times this week when I wanted to just sit down and cry. I pray my sleep would be multiplied tonight. Good-night.

The Big Day!

So today was the big day. We had to be at Dr. Carlton's office at 8 am. It really didn't take too long for her to get her braces on. She was a trooper. I think they make her look older. What do you think of them?

Growing Up!

Tuesday I had to take Paige to two dentist appointments. So all day it was just me and her. It was during the course of this day I began to notice some interesting things about my oldest baby. She really isn't a baby anymore. Well not really, but kinda. As the day went on I saw a strange mix of kid/young women things emerge from her. I looked at her that morning and thought to myself, "she is going to be a teenager if I blink my eyes." But I found there is still some little girl in her.

Everywhere we went throughout the day she wanted to hold my hand. She wasn't embarrassed at all. She, like the child she is, unashamedly clung to me in every store and along every stroll. This is the child I know.

As we were being seated in the Olive Garden the lady grabbed a coloring sheet and crayons. I immediately thought Paige would not want them. But as we sat at our table she grabbed a bright blue crayon and happily worked on mazes and puzzles without the slightest hesitation.

When we went to her next appointment she was a little nervous and wanted me to go back with her. But when we got back there she was so big and brave about things I would have cried and curled up into the fetal position over. A little later they put a boy in the seat next to her. He was about twelve and very cute. I saw her notice him. Before my very eyes I saw a little more of the child slide away and some young women take hold.

About midnight I was pulled from a deep slumber to Paige standing by my bed holding her stomach. Before I could even give her any directions she ran to my bathroom and was sick. She called for me like a child, and Lord forgive me, it was sweet to my ears. I went in and held her hair back and wipe her face with a cool washrag and when she was done I hugged her like a little baby.

As I think back to this one day I see all the signs. Soon enough she may not want to hold my hand everywhere we go. She may not need me as much as she does now. She may brutally rebuff the offer of a coloring page at restaurants. And she may obsess about her clothes and notice every boy within a 10 foot range. But not today. And that is enough for me.

Post # 100!!!!!

Here are 100 things about me!!

1. I am writing a book.
2. I love anything cinnamon.
3. I leave the cabinet doors open all the time.
4. I am scared of chickens.
5. I lovelove when I get into bed after Billy is already asleep and he reaches for me and pulls me close.
6. I love to watch Billy work with his hands.
7. I can be very messy.
8. I have at least five birthmarks.
9. I love to go to the movies.
10. I hate putting laundry away.
11. I am crazy in love with my dishwasher.
12. I have never done drugs.
13. When Billy plugs in my cell phone it makes me feel taken care of.
14. I am believing for a big great house.
15. I have been married 11 years.
16. I am really a romantic at heart.
17. I love my friends.
18. Some days I may talk to Pam 7 or 8 times.
19. I have seen four babies born (other than my own)
20. I could be seriously addicted to TV.
21. I don’t really like chick flicks.
22. I want to see a creative miracle (if I had a choice, Miles)
23. I want to travel everywhere with Billy, particularly Italy
24. I used to love Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. (Was sad when the series ended)
25. I don’t like pizza really.
26. I have been pregnant or nursing a baby almost 5 years out of the last 12 years.
27. I have a strange phobia of mail. It piles up and I get overwhelmed.
28. My dad was born in Sicily.
29. My brother Giancarlo is a marine who just got back from Iraq.
30. I am an avid reader and a poor speller.
31. I kill plants.
32. I have been to 10 of the 50 states. (Tx, La, Ms, Al, NM, Ok, Co, Ar, Az, Ca)
33. I have a hard time telling 100 things about myself.
34. My grandparents used to have a grape vineyard.
35. I have spoken, in person, to Kris Vallatton.
36. I walked away and he then forgot me immediately.
37. I had my picture taken with James Blake.
38. I walked away and he then forgot me immediately.
39. I love coconut coffee creamer.
40. I want to be thinner by the time I am 30. (Lots thinner)
41. I have an associate’s degree in Practical Ministry.
42. I am in love with my dishwasher. (It’s a little creepy)
43. I would like Daniel Oppong to sing me to sleep (get your mind out of the gutter, while Billy is holding me)
44. I like salad better when someone else makes it.
45. I miss playing basketball.
46. I love it when Billy has on jeans but no shirt (yum!!)
47. When people fall down I laugh hysterically.
48. I plan to live to 100.
49. Sometimes I want to take Billy’s cell phone and smash it with a hammer. (Enter in sinister laugh from Yzma from The Emperor’s New Groove)
50. I love to worship.
51. My love language is words of affirmation and physical touch.
52. I plan to one day see my books on shelves across the world.
53. I am blessed with the most wonderful kids in the world.
54. I like to cook, but have an aversion to the planning and cleaning up process.
55. I love all kinds of pasta.
56. I want to know the whole Bible.
57. I am watching Oprah’s Favorite Things 2007 right now.
58. I want to go to back to Mexico SOON!!!
59. Billy bought me a pair of beautiful diamond earrings that I will cherish forever.
60. Forty more things about me, really???
61. I love epic battle movies.
62. I like my steaks medium.
63. I hate bananas. (The flavor, the texture, everything)
64. I love the band Switchfoot.
65. I DO NOT listen to Air One. (Don’t tell Billy)
66. I love CSI and The Biggest Loser.
67. Sometimes when Pam talks about her garden and chickens I wonder how we are best friends.
68. I have been known to be a little pushy. (Can you believe it?)
69. My hair is naturally curly. (No, I did not get a perm, do people even do that anymore?)
70. I spend the majority of my grooming time trying to tame said crazy curls.
71. I have overcome my fear of flying.
72. I love to make Billy laugh.
73. I love Wikipedia.
74. I love my sister.
75. I pray God shows up big in Erica’s life.
76. I hate busy phones. (Who doesn’t have call waiting in this day and age?)
77. I have never given blood.
78. I will never bungee jump. (There is never anything soft at the end of that fall)
79. I was pregnant my sophomore and senior years of high school.
80. I think Billy will be sexy when he goes a little grey at the temples.
81. I love that people tell me all the time that my kids are wonderful.
82. I graduated with honors 12th in my class.
83. I used to work at the prison in Abilene. (Middleton Unit)
84. I want a snowy Christmas.
85. I want to have the house that holds all the parties.
86. I once ran out of gas in the rain and had to go into the jail in Abilene to use the phone.
87. I feel very strongly about abortion (don’t do it)
88. Billy and I quote movie lines all the time.
89. I am more in love with Billy now than ever.
90. My paternal grandmother lives in Milan, Italy.
91. My maternal great-grandfather lived until he was 102.
92. I burn the bread sometimes. (Joel says this is the trademark of a real chef)
93. Sometimes I avoid current events because they are depressing.
94. I was filled with the Holy Spirit when I was 17.
95. I lived with Kathy and Endgate for 2 years.
96. I love to curl up with a good book, a good blanket, and a good beverage.
97. I want to preach a sermon in front of our body one day.
98. Blaise makes me laugh.
99. My personality is pure D. (driving and dominant, in case any of you were unsure)
100. I never thought I would blog and here I am – 100 POSTS!!