Monday, July 7, 2008

I need you!!!

I have a question for all of you. I would really appreciate a response.

What do you do to to relax or for pure enjoyment.

See, I believe that my high stress level is contributing to this ailment. I began to realize, I don't know what makes me relaxed. I have lots of things I have to do. Plenty of things I want to do. I serve of two different advisory boards at church. I am Kathy's prayer assistant. I lead Intercessory prayer on Tuesdays. I meet with Brandon every week on a project we are working on. I meet with Kathy and Ashley every week. I have coffee twice a week at my house with friends and another time with the women's ministry team. (Which I do enjoy, but I wouldn't call it relaxing) I try to do lunch on Thursday's (not always, sorry). I also have five kids, and one still attached to my hip (or boob), a husband, a unfinished book, a house to clean, groceries to buy, and 21 loads of laundry per week.

All that being said, I know each and every one of you has a list as long or longer. So my question again.

If you had a free day, a little cash, what would you do. Pure fun, stress relieving activities.

12 comments:

Amanda said...

I love getting my hair done! It really makes me relax when Kasi starts shampooing my hair. I also really enjoy cooking. Cooking a super good meal is really fun for me too.

CALL ME MCKEE said...

WOW FRAN, YOU ARE ON OVER-LOAD. YOU DO NEED TO HAVE A DAY JUST FOR YOURSELF.
CALL ME SELFISH BUT I HAVE LEARNED IF I DON'T DO THIS A COUPLE TIMES A MONTH I AM ALSO ON OVER-LOAD.
JUST REMEMBER THAT I AM WAY OLDER THAN YOU AND HAVE RAISED MY 2 CHILDREN.
SO I HAVE LEARNED THIS THROUGH EXPERIENCE.
PICK A DAY FOR YOU AND ONLY YOU..
I GET MY NAILS DONE ONE TIME. MY HAIR DONE ANOTHER TIME. A PEDICURE WITH GIRL-FRIENDS ANOTHER TIME. ITS CALLED "ME" TIME. AND EVERY WOMEN ON PLANET EARTH NEEDS TO DO IT.
AND I HAVE ALSO LEARNED THAT I MUST GO WALK 20 OR 30 MINUTES SEVERAL TIMES A WEEK JUST TO STAY SANE.
I HAVE FOUND THAT WALKING RELIEVES MY STRESS LEVEL.
SO I MAKE IT A POINT TO DO IT 4X A WEEK. IT GIVES ME TIME TO PRAY AND JUST ENJOY THE OUT-DOORS.
I LIVE OUT IN THE SEMI-COUNTRY SO IF YOU NEED A QUIET PLACE TO COME AND WALK LET ME KNOW. YOU ARE MORE THAN WELCOME TO COME AND USE MY ROAD TO WALK ON.

Erica said...

maybe a massage, margaritas w/gal pals, (just one day and only a little cash?), how about a week at the beach with no schedule or interruptions!

Monica said...

OKAY. I have researched this topic thoroughly, for clients and myself. First, of all you definitely need more than one day, (although that is still a must!) learning to relax and reduce stress in your life requires a paradigm shift, especially if you are a self-professed "stress-monger" like I USED TO BE, in Jesus' name. It needs to be an everyday intentional and practiced thing.

So, some proven relaxation techniques (I don't utilize near enough) include: diagraphmatic breathing, progressive muscle relaxation excercises, guided imagery, personal meditation and prayer. Soaking is an excellent example of meditation and prayer.

And of course we all know the benifits of excercise--stress reduction, happy endorphins increease! You can find info on these other techniques and more "stress-busting" tips online. You can also get audio tapes of the PMR excercises to guide you and other relaxation tapes to listen to. (sounds like an infomercial) I also have a good stess-reduction workbook.

Anyway, it is amazing how doing 2-5 minutes of deep breathing during the day or when you notice you may be "keyed-up" help you relax and help you become more aware of you autonomic nervous system and body, and doing the PMR excercises at bedtime help you sleep better.

All the other suggestions are important too! The main thing is you CANNOT take too good of care of yourself and it is opposite of selfish. The more responsibilities to others you have the more it should be a priority. Love yourself! and avoid the "tyranny of the shoulds", eliminate guilt-producing words and negative self-talk which create a ton of stress for us. This change alone can be huge.

OKAY. no, more psychobabble. I can get carried away. I am here for you! whatever you need!! Love you so much. Let's plan a spa day!!

Monica said...

OOps. it's "diaphragmatic" breathing, if your looking it up. (i think)

High in Demand said...

Well, at home when I have all the kids and I need a little "relaxing" I enjoy reading. I'm not easily distracted so I can even lay on the couch with a book in the middle of all five kids and be still with a book for an hour. I usually like to do this after I've got a few things done around the house so I can justify a break for awhile. It helps with me being in the living room because then the kids don't feel like I've checked out. They see me right by them so they don't seem to interupt as much. If I do have to stop and take care of something for them it's easy to just jump back into the book.

If I've got a day off and a little cash...well, that's a different story.
Actually, I have been known to take a book to Starbucks and read for 2 hours. I like being in a place with other people, but not really feeling like I have to talk to someone.
Also, I think I'm going to have to add Megan Cheek's pedicures to the monthly budget. For an hour and a half she treats you like a queen and talks of single life without kids talk. It's a different planet that she lives on but it's nice to visit.
And, you know I'm a fan of going to the movies by myself. There's just something about picking out ONLY WHAT YOU WANT TO WATCH, eating what you want to eat and crying or laughing when you want to cry or laugh.
Sometimes I shop, but I don't always like it because sometimes it gives me too much time to dwell on things I'm trying to avoid.
A quiet and relaxiing spot for me is ACU at Jacob's Ladder. (Not so much in the heat) It's so peacful there and I always feel the presence of God there.

So, that's what I do.

Time for myself is good for the whole family.

Hey, something else that I enjoy and find refreshing is to just take one kid with me when I'm going out. It's so nice to just have one kid to talk to and learn more about. I find it just as relaxing as when I go by myself sometimes.

Hope that's helpful.

Ashlee said...

I've noticed that when I get overwhelmed I actually waste time more on things like surfing the net, etc...but not actually resting. So when I'm busy I try to cut out those sort of things. Either I'm doing what I need to be doing or I'm resting. I find reading fiction to be EXTREMELY relaxing and often do it right in the midst of whatever else is going on. Soaking (as per Monica) is also wonderful. I aways have much better perspective afterwards. Exercize is great because it energizes, relaxes the muscles, and gets rid of guilt! You may need to cut some stuff out. I've been feeling the need to cut out a few things from my routine...but keep holding on because I don't want to lose any relationships...probably not the best reason even though I really do value the relationships.

I thought Brandi had some great from one mom of 5 to another tips. Last night Adalee spent the night at my Moms and we spent the whole evening playing games with Lydie. We were totally captivated by her... and how cool of a "kid" she is turning into. It was probably the most relaxing evening we've had in months.


I sort of feel like this was one big ramble...sorry if it seemed that way. I hope you get lots of Godly wisdom on this and are able to prioritize, put things into perspective and find out what rejuvenates you.

Start World Hunger said...

Wow-great suggestions. I would just go and see a movie, by myself. I think the key is by yourself.

A-lauf said...

Hmmm my list is a little shorter...I can't really say, because you wouldn't do anything that I would do. :)

Rachel said...

I like to paint. . . yes, paint a room. But, I guess you're wanting things out of the house. I did have a lot of fun the other day. I went to Michael's because not much else was open. I walked up and down EVERY aisle in the store looking at all the neat things!!

Then, I met Joel & Trish at Tuscany's and that was really nice!! I'm thinking about taking a book there this week and just sip on some peach tea and read (gasp!).

God's Warrior Bride said...

Free day - little cash - pure fun - stress relieving? Pack up the cameras - get in the car - put on the headphones - turn up the MP3 - hit the back roads - little to no cell service - taking pictures of all God's wonders. This would be my perfect free day.

Cyndi said...

I am very stressed as well I think a nice dinner and drinks with some friends maybe even some new ones to get to know (you know so that I can get my mind off my stress to listen to someone else) :)