Telemarketers ...sheesh!!

Phone rings. I pick it up and look at it. I don’t recognize the number but decide to answer it anyway.

Me: Hello?

Telemarketer: Hello, may I speak to Billy Hafner?

Me: I’m sorry he is not available, can I help you?

TM: Can you tell me who takes care of the electric bill?

Me: I do.

TM: Great, you are just who I need to talk to. (Like we are best friends) I am with First Choice Electric and I want to talk to you about your electric service.

Now, this guy sounded so excited I thought I would go with it for a while and see where we ended.

Me: Okay.

TM: Now, who do you currently have service with?

Me: Reliant.

TM: And do you know if you have a fixed rate or a variable rate.

Me: Ummm … I am not sure…I think a fixed rate.

TM: Well do you think or do you know? (At this point I am thinking this guy is getting a little too cocky.)

Me: Well, I am not sure.

TM: Well, do you have a monthly service change.

Me: I don’t think so.

TM: (Smugly) Then you have a variable rate. Which means they can change you rate from month to month.

Me: Ohh.

TM: I think we can offer you a better rate, can you give me your zip code.

Me: 79510

TM: Okay, give me just a second…oh this is the best rate I have seen all day (I am sure he says that to all the girls) 14.1 cent per kwh.

Me: Okay (as I am sliding over to my computer to pull up my current rates and plans)

TM: You would have a $4.95 charge per month plus being billed for your kwh.

Me: Okay.

TM: So, if you used about 1000 KWH you would have a bill of about $140 per month.

Me: (pulling up my account)

TM: Oh, I’m sorry is that too brainy for you (are you kidding me?)

Me: (deciding I am going to take control of this conversation) No, that is not too brainy for me, I was just thinking that 1000 kwh is an extremely low per month average.

TM: Well that is just an average.

Me: Now tell me, do you have online services?

TM: Oh, you would ask me that, I just started…I think so.

Me: Well do you think or do you know?

TM: (nervous chuckle) Here let me ask…(he is mumbling in the background) yes we do, we have a $3.00 charge to pay by over the Internet or phone.

Me: Do you have other hidden fees applied?

TM: Well, we do have a cancellation fee of $295, if you cancel before your contract is up.

Me: That is pretty steep. So I have a monthly charge and a charge for paying online.

TM: Yes.

Me: I am sorry, what did you say your name was?

TM: Bill

Me: Well Bill, this is my problem, reliant has a rate of 13.5 cents per kwh, no monthly service change and no fee to pay online.

Bill: (laughing) Are you trying to talk me down.

Me: Well, if you are only offering 14.1, I can do better than that with my current provider.

Bill: (still laughing) Are you a used car salesman?

Me: No, I am a stay at home mom, but I do a lot of negotiating.

Bill: Well, I guess you won’t be interested in switching.

Me: No, I guess not.

Bill: Well, okay, I guess that is all, have a good day.

Me: You too!!