Something strange happens to me around Christmas time. I get a little overwhelmed. I want to buy great presents for my kids, family and friends, but I get overwhelmed at the thought of spending thousands of dollars to make that happen. I want to find the balance. I think there is nothing wrong with giving gifts or getting them, I love to do both. But I find it bothersome when that process involves stress, guilt and more money that a few house payments. This Christmas we didn't put a tree up. We didn't have a lot of room and so there was no Christmas spirit evident around our house. No lights or ornaments of presents under the tree. It was a little depressing for the kids and a little for me also. Christmas eve the whole family went to Abilene, finished last minute shopping, ate lunch and then picked up Monica's kids and went to see National Treasure. We had a great time. But towards the end of the day when we were figuring out how the order of the day would go tomorrow, I began to feel it again. Would me kids feel diappointed. I wasn't able to buy for everyone, would they be upset? Is Christmas morning going to be sad and pathetic with no tree or anything? By the time I left Monica's to come home I was in a full-fledged melt-down. I spent the whole ride home trying not to cry which gave me an incredible headache. I stopped by Pam's for some wrapping paper, and I was busted. After I left she called me and asked the dreaded question... "Are you alright?" How is it that this question strips you bare. I proceeded to cry and be ridiculous. She was sweet and understanding. The next morning was wonderful, though. They were thrilled with their presents. I decided the majority of the night before was a combination of exhaustion and pregnancy hormones. Christmas was wonderful and relaxing. The kids and us were blessed, as always. I wonder why I fretted in the first place.
But I am left wondering if this same present delimma will raise it's head next year. Will it always be there. As we make more money and our kids get older will we spend more? When is it too much. I guess this is a question every family has to figure out for themselves.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Christmas!
Posted by Francesca at 1:25 PM
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6 comments:
May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts. May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet of $100 bills. May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips! May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires and may happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy. May the problems you had forget your home address! In simple words ............
May 2008 be the best year of your life!!!
amen!
What is it about that question?
It has broke me several times. Probably by you a couple of times.
It's like it just releases all the emotions at once. It's usually a good thing.
I'm glad you had a good Christmas. Just think...before you know it you'll have plenty of space for a Christmas tree.
I don't really want much for Christmas except for my children to really "get it." I get excited when I can use my money to get them something they have been asking for and I have an excuse to get it, but I really want them to understand what it's all about. I want them to see others in need and feel like they want to do something about it. Even if they can't, I want them to at least notice it. Are they too young for that? or have I just not done enough to show it to them by my own actions? I want them to be okay without the "latest and greatest." But at the same time, I love my kids and I like to buy gifts for them.
I want to hear the Holy Spirit and get what He tells me to get for my family and other people. I want my gifts to be meaningful. Not just plastic that came from China and is full of lead. I'm tired of hollow giving just because it's the season for giving.
I think most of us feel that guilt and anxiety, maybe yours was multiplied through hormones, but you are not alone. I am glad you had peace. I worried the same thing for my kids. I went to see my brother in Dallas. He has this mansion like house. But last year he lost his job and they have literally scraped on nothing. They were so humble. Their boys wrote them notes and told them they did not have to get them anything- it was not about the presents. The list they did give had very modest things on it. I was so worried that it would not be enough for my kids. It was like music to my ears when my kids did not complain once, but acted very grateful. I started a new tradition with my family. I made us all say something nice or something you love about the person about to open gifts. It was so great to watch everyone reveal another beautiful part of the gift they are to the family. I was the corn ball that had to tell everyone at the end that they were a gift to our family. It got to be a joke, but it was great!
By the way Frantastic- you are a gift to our community. I respect and admire you.
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