Monday, December 31, 2007

Observation of the Day!

I find a significant amount of my time spent barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. What do you think this means?

Thursday, December 27, 2007


Something strange happens to me around Christmas time. I get a little overwhelmed. I want to buy great presents for my kids, family and friends, but I get overwhelmed at the thought of spending thousands of dollars to make that happen. I want to find the balance. I think there is nothing wrong with giving gifts or getting them, I love to do both. But I find it bothersome when that process involves stress, guilt and more money that a few house payments. This Christmas we didn't put a tree up. We didn't have a lot of room and so there was no Christmas spirit evident around our house. No lights or ornaments of presents under the tree. It was a little depressing for the kids and a little for me also. Christmas eve the whole family went to Abilene, finished last minute shopping, ate lunch and then picked up Monica's kids and went to see National Treasure. We had a great time. But towards the end of the day when we were figuring out how the order of the day would go tomorrow, I began to feel it again. Would me kids feel diappointed. I wasn't able to buy for everyone, would they be upset? Is Christmas morning going to be sad and pathetic with no tree or anything? By the time I left Monica's to come home I was in a full-fledged melt-down. I spent the whole ride home trying not to cry which gave me an incredible headache. I stopped by Pam's for some wrapping paper, and I was busted. After I left she called me and asked the dreaded question... "Are you alright?" How is it that this question strips you bare. I proceeded to cry and be ridiculous. She was sweet and understanding. The next morning was wonderful, though. They were thrilled with their presents. I decided the majority of the night before was a combination of exhaustion and pregnancy hormones. Christmas was wonderful and relaxing. The kids and us were blessed, as always. I wonder why I fretted in the first place.

But I am left wondering if this same present delimma will raise it's head next year. Will it always be there. As we make more money and our kids get older will we spend more? When is it too much. I guess this is a question every family has to figure out for themselves.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007


We had a terrible thing happen yesterday. Our little kitten got hit by a car. When the girls came home from school they saw it in the middle of the road. It was still alive and they picked it up and brought it back. I told them to set it down and see if it could walk. When she did it tried to move but could only drag it's back legs. It was so sad. Now, I am not really an animal person. But the sight of that little kitten trying to drag itself under our steps was more than I could take. Not to mention the Paige and Bailey immediately started crying hysterically. I called Billy and he told me Dusty was coming to get it around 5 to go "put it down". I told the girls we were going to have to put it down, and that they had 20 minutes to say bye. The girls sat around it and pet it and told it goodbye. It broke my heart to see their little hearts broken. But the saddest thing that came from this chain of events was this question from Paige.

"I prayed for a miracle and God didn't do it. Why?"

I answered it the best I could.

"I don't know, but I know God is good."

Thursday, December 13, 2007

What a day!

This was quite a day. It went like this.

I woke up at 6:50.
Woke up the girls.
Gave them clothes.
Preheated the oven.
Turned on my Chi.
Mixed cookie dough.
Put cookies in oven that Bailey had to have for her class.
Straightened my hair.
Took cookies out, packaged them for school.
Took kids to school.
Had coffee with Pam and Cherith.
Made 25 burritos (this is my new job if you didn't know)
Had them, me, and my children ready to walk out the door at 9:45
Dropped burritos off at HPB.
Went to bank.
Drove to Monica's to drop off girls.
Picked up Emily and took her to Marsha's.
Went to my doctors appointment.
Went to the Mall to look for Paige a jacket.
Met Monica and girls for lunch.
Drove pack to Clyde to pick up Paige for an orthodontist app.
Stopped by house to pick up stuff.
Went to dentist.
Went back to the mall with 3 of my 4 kids.
Shopped unsuccessfully for 2 hours.
Bought a pretzel.
Left the mall.
Went to HEB for more burrito supplies.
Went to dry cleaners to pick up Avery's dress for Ira's wedding.
Went to Marsha's to pick up new clothes for Paige.
Drove back to Clyde.
Went to HPB to pick up Bailey.
Went home to unload all the stuff in my car.
Organized said clothes.
Straightened up kitchen.
Made PB&J's for the kids.
Got them to bed.
Made french toast for my sweet husband (@10pm)
Sat down at the computer.

It has been a really full day and I am beat. Tomorrow and the next are just the same. I need supernatural strength and endurance from heaven. There have been a few times this week when I wanted to just sit down and cry. I pray my sleep would be multiplied tonight. Good-night.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

The Big Day!

So today was the big day. We had to be at Dr. Carlton's office at 8 am. It really didn't take too long for her to get her braces on. She was a trooper. I think they make her look older. What do you think of them?

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Growing Up!

Tuesday I had to take Paige to two dentist appointments. So all day it was just me and her. It was during the course of this day I began to notice some interesting things about my oldest baby. She really isn't a baby anymore. Well not really, but kinda. As the day went on I saw a strange mix of kid/young women things emerge from her. I looked at her that morning and thought to myself, "she is going to be a teenager if I blink my eyes." But I found there is still some little girl in her.

Everywhere we went throughout the day she wanted to hold my hand. She wasn't embarrassed at all. She, like the child she is, unashamedly clung to me in every store and along every stroll. This is the child I know.

As we were being seated in the Olive Garden the lady grabbed a coloring sheet and crayons. I immediately thought Paige would not want them. But as we sat at our table she grabbed a bright blue crayon and happily worked on mazes and puzzles without the slightest hesitation.

When we went to her next appointment she was a little nervous and wanted me to go back with her. But when we got back there she was so big and brave about things I would have cried and curled up into the fetal position over. A little later they put a boy in the seat next to her. He was about twelve and very cute. I saw her notice him. Before my very eyes I saw a little more of the child slide away and some young women take hold.

About midnight I was pulled from a deep slumber to Paige standing by my bed holding her stomach. Before I could even give her any directions she ran to my bathroom and was sick. She called for me like a child, and Lord forgive me, it was sweet to my ears. I went in and held her hair back and wipe her face with a cool washrag and when she was done I hugged her like a little baby.

As I think back to this one day I see all the signs. Soon enough she may not want to hold my hand everywhere we go. She may not need me as much as she does now. She may brutally rebuff the offer of a coloring page at restaurants. And she may obsess about her clothes and notice every boy within a 10 foot range. But not today. And that is enough for me.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Post # 100!!!!!

Here are 100 things about me!!

1. I am writing a book.
2. I love anything cinnamon.
3. I leave the cabinet doors open all the time.
4. I am scared of chickens.
5. I lovelove when I get into bed after Billy is already asleep and he reaches for me and pulls me close.
6. I love to watch Billy work with his hands.
7. I can be very messy.
8. I have at least five birthmarks.
9. I love to go to the movies.
10. I hate putting laundry away.
11. I am crazy in love with my dishwasher.
12. I have never done drugs.
13. When Billy plugs in my cell phone it makes me feel taken care of.
14. I am believing for a big great house.
15. I have been married 11 years.
16. I am really a romantic at heart.
17. I love my friends.
18. Some days I may talk to Pam 7 or 8 times.
19. I have seen four babies born (other than my own)
20. I could be seriously addicted to TV.
21. I don’t really like chick flicks.
22. I want to see a creative miracle (if I had a choice, Miles)
23. I want to travel everywhere with Billy, particularly Italy
24. I used to love Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. (Was sad when the series ended)
25. I don’t like pizza really.
26. I have been pregnant or nursing a baby almost 5 years out of the last 12 years.
27. I have a strange phobia of mail. It piles up and I get overwhelmed.
28. My dad was born in Sicily.
29. My brother Giancarlo is a marine who just got back from Iraq.
30. I am an avid reader and a poor speller.
31. I kill plants.
32. I have been to 10 of the 50 states. (Tx, La, Ms, Al, NM, Ok, Co, Ar, Az, Ca)
33. I have a hard time telling 100 things about myself.
34. My grandparents used to have a grape vineyard.
35. I have spoken, in person, to Kris Vallatton.
36. I walked away and he then forgot me immediately.
37. I had my picture taken with James Blake.
38. I walked away and he then forgot me immediately.
39. I love coconut coffee creamer.
40. I want to be thinner by the time I am 30. (Lots thinner)
41. I have an associate’s degree in Practical Ministry.
42. I am in love with my dishwasher. (It’s a little creepy)
43. I would like Daniel Oppong to sing me to sleep (get your mind out of the gutter, while Billy is holding me)
44. I like salad better when someone else makes it.
45. I miss playing basketball.
46. I love it when Billy has on jeans but no shirt (yum!!)
47. When people fall down I laugh hysterically.
48. I plan to live to 100.
49. Sometimes I want to take Billy’s cell phone and smash it with a hammer. (Enter in sinister laugh from Yzma from The Emperor’s New Groove)
50. I love to worship.
51. My love language is words of affirmation and physical touch.
52. I plan to one day see my books on shelves across the world.
53. I am blessed with the most wonderful kids in the world.
54. I like to cook, but have an aversion to the planning and cleaning up process.
55. I love all kinds of pasta.
56. I want to know the whole Bible.
57. I am watching Oprah’s Favorite Things 2007 right now.
58. I want to go to back to Mexico SOON!!!
59. Billy bought me a pair of beautiful diamond earrings that I will cherish forever.
60. Forty more things about me, really???
61. I love epic battle movies.
62. I like my steaks medium.
63. I hate bananas. (The flavor, the texture, everything)
64. I love the band Switchfoot.
65. I DO NOT listen to Air One. (Don’t tell Billy)
66. I love CSI and The Biggest Loser.
67. Sometimes when Pam talks about her garden and chickens I wonder how we are best friends.
68. I have been known to be a little pushy. (Can you believe it?)
69. My hair is naturally curly. (No, I did not get a perm, do people even do that anymore?)
70. I spend the majority of my grooming time trying to tame said crazy curls.
71. I have overcome my fear of flying.
72. I love to make Billy laugh.
73. I love Wikipedia.
74. I love my sister.
75. I pray God shows up big in Erica’s life.
76. I hate busy phones. (Who doesn’t have call waiting in this day and age?)
77. I have never given blood.
78. I will never bungee jump. (There is never anything soft at the end of that fall)
79. I was pregnant my sophomore and senior years of high school.
80. I think Billy will be sexy when he goes a little grey at the temples.
81. I love that people tell me all the time that my kids are wonderful.
82. I graduated with honors 12th in my class.
83. I used to work at the prison in Abilene. (Middleton Unit)
84. I want a snowy Christmas.
85. I want to have the house that holds all the parties.
86. I once ran out of gas in the rain and had to go into the jail in Abilene to use the phone.
87. I feel very strongly about abortion (don’t do it)
88. Billy and I quote movie lines all the time.
89. I am more in love with Billy now than ever.
90. My paternal grandmother lives in Milan, Italy.
91. My maternal great-grandfather lived until he was 102.
92. I burn the bread sometimes. (Joel says this is the trademark of a real chef)
93. Sometimes I avoid current events because they are depressing.
94. I was filled with the Holy Spirit when I was 17.
95. I lived with Kathy and Endgate for 2 years.
96. I love to curl up with a good book, a good blanket, and a good beverage.
97. I want to preach a sermon in front of our body one day.
98. Blaise makes me laugh.
99. My personality is pure D. (driving and dominant, in case any of you were unsure)
100. I never thought I would blog and here I am – 100 POSTS!!

Friday, November 16, 2007

Truth behind the story -

I feel like I need to elaborate about yesterday's post. The Dr. did indeed do a ultrasound. He was in a rush and here is how it went.

Dr. - Let's take a look.
F - (waiting breathlessly)
Dr. - Well, we may not get a clear view.
F - Oh, don't say that!
Dr. - Let's measure the leg bone.
F. - . . . .
Dr. - Well the legs are very close together, I can't see any boy parts, so I am going to say girl.
F. - (Me, surprised) really?
Dr. - We will do another ultrasound in a few months. Have a good day!

So it wasn't clear to anyone. But I felt like I couldn't just keep saying it is a boy when the trained professional who treats me just said it was a girl. Pam seems to think I am crazy. I was disappointed. And of course I felt guilty for feeling disappointed. So I don't really know what to do. So that is the whole story.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Went to the dr. today. He did an ultrasound. He said it's a girl.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007


Paige needs braces. It is a sad fact. She, of course, is extremely excited. As if I was buying her a new car and throwing in a cell phone. She doesn't realize what this will truly entail. But I want her to have them. When she is sixteen she will be happy we did.

Yesterday we went to the consultation with Dr. Carrolton. He held the mold of Paige's mouth and told us all our options. He waited to the very end to drop the bomb. He reaches behind the things on the table and pulls out what Paige really needs . . . Orthodontic Headgear. As soon as he said the words I started to laugh, which is terrible I know. But this is what I pictured . . .

Really it will something more like this . . .

She only has to wear it 12 hours a day. So maybe from 7pm to 7am. For about 6 months. So after 20 months of wearing these braces. About 4,ooo dollars and many more appointments she should have perfect teeth. The only thing she wanted to know was why she couldn't wear the headgear to school. "Because I don't want you to get your ass kicked everyday for 6 months." I didn't really say that. Something much more maternal. I am always tender like that.

Friday, November 9, 2007


It has been a long time since my last post. I just figured I should write something.

Me and all my children have had a stinking cold for over a week. We are crammed in the petri-dish of a house breathing all over each other. I have been spraying the Lysol regularly. I think it is almost over.

Billy & I have our eye on a super terrific house. It would take a little doing on God's part, we'll see what happens.

Well, Erica moved out and my mom moved back in. Things are tight, but I am glad she is back.

Billy started his new job. No more driving to Odessa. No more 16 hour days. He is really enjoying it. I am so happy for him. It just shows, if you can be excellent where you are, even in your frustration, God will promote you. I think I need to master this principle.

I go to the dr. again next week. I am going to beg for a sono. Why make me wait another month. I will be almost 19 weeks along. He can tell the sex of the baby. I want to know for sure.

That is about all I can muster right now. I will hopefully report back sooner rather than later.

Friday, October 26, 2007

A Reprieve!

Well, I can echo Aaron's thoughts today. It has been a lousy week. I have had a myriad of emotions. But, with all that said, I am so excited about the birthday party Pam has planned for me tonight. I am thrilled about an evening with my nearest and dearest, with fun conversations, good food, and presents!!! I will consider this evening a reprieve. I believe it is these refreshing times that strengthen us to go back into the fray of battle. Thank you Jesus for reprieves!!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

World Series?

The other day Billy was paying the water bill when one of the workers asked him if he was related to Travis Hafner. Now, Travis Hafner plays professional baseball for the Cleveland Indians who happen to be playing in the championship to move on to the world series. So, Billy's response to the lady was, "Yep, we sure are!"

When he came home and told me this I have razzed him all week. Just because we have the same last name doesn't mean we are related. So tonight while the Indians played the Red Sox in game 7 I decided to do a little research on our long lost cousin. I could find no family information, but I did find this . . .

So, what do you think?!?!

Friday, October 12, 2007

How about this!!

Well, I have had a complaint from one of my fans (Brandi) so I figured it was time for a new post. So I thought to myself, I do have a little piece of info that is quite post-worthy.

I had a sonogram today. Everything looked good. Baby looked perfect. I am 13 weeks and 4 days which luckily is farther that he first figured. Then the doctor began to look at the baby's head and spine and hands and leg and then he said this - "Oh, there is a bump. If I had to guess I would say this is a BOY!!" He then proceeded to say it is still early and we won't know for sure until later blah, blah, blah. But I heard the word - BOY!! We have tried to be a little restrained knowing he wasn't positive, but it is really hard to not scream like a little girl and jump up and down. So there is a little news from the Hafner front.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

October 6, 1996

Almost eleven years ago was my wedding day. Here is how this day went. I got up, had breakfast and lounged around the house til almost noon. I took a shower and shaved my legs. I then ate a BLT from Thrifty's. Said BLT did not settle well on the early pregnancy, so I spent the next 30 minutes sitting very still. I put my make-up on and got dressed in my off-white, knee length dress, WITH JACKET, and fixed my hair. At this point I will point out we were to be married at 2 pm. It was now 1:45 and I realized I am going to be late to my own wedding. So I ended up with a bad hair do and my lips were lined with lip-liner, but I couldn't find any gloss to fill them.

I rush up to and into the church right at 2. I find in the hallway Billy's dad has three of my friends pinned in the corner as he cries and talks about how lonely he is going to be now. Kathy is in the back preparing for my reception. And there were about 20-30 people waiting in the sanctuary for me. I quietly slipped in and went and sat across the aisle from Billy, who was already there waiting for me. There would be no walking down the aisle for this girl. That is a privilege reserved for the pure I guess. But when I sat down and looked across the aisle at Billy, he said something that still moves my heart to this day. He looked at me with all the confidence he was probably not feeling and said, "Hi, Angel." All my nerves disappeared and all the love I could hold in my seventeen year old heart spilled over for him. After a simple service and an awkward reception we got ready to slip out. Amy and Krissy handed me a Victoria's Secret bag with a beautiful nightie, that I still have, and my brother gave us $100 that we quickly spent. We were saying our goodbyes and getting ready to head to the hotel when Billy's older sister Alana asked us to give her and her two children a ride to her house.

So all five of us loaded up, we made a pit-stop to drop off Alana and then made our way to the hotel. We got there, check in and we getting ready to start the Honeymoon. Right about that time we received a phone call from Alana saying she had left Gabriel's bottle in the car and she needed it now. So Billy went back across town to take Alana her bottle. Meanwhile I am beginning our marriage with some very hard feelings. As the weekend went on we got food poisoning from Rick and Carolyn's ( luckily it only lasted one evening) and we received a prank call from Brandon Hawk which I am still trying to forgive him for. So looking back I can say we had an adventurous first few days of marriage. But that is nothing compared to the next ten or so years. But that is for another day.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

The Appliance Anointing!

I believe I may have unprecedented favor in a certain area. I have the appliance anointing. Today I was given money for a brand new dishwasher. It is installed and beautiful. I came home from the children's church meeting and heard it softly purring as it scrubbed all my dirtiest dishes. Billy was so sweet to load it.

I began to think back and here is what I realized.

* 3.5 years ago - I was given a wonderful refrigerator and microwave. I still have them and they are great.

*3.5 years ago - I was given a used but very nice washer and dryer.

*1.5 years ago - I was given a cute red coffee maker - I still use it every Tues. & Thurs.

* 60 days ago - I was bought a awesome brand new front loading washer and dryer after previously mentioned washer died.

*Today - Brand new dishwasher.

This is almost unheard of. It is the favor and blessing of God. I have never, in 11 years of marriage, had to buy a major appliance. God is Good!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Too Busy?

Saturday morning I was up rather early doing laundry. I glanced out the window of my laundry room and saw a beautiful sunrise. I dismissed it quickly and went back to folding the never-ending pile of laundry my four offsprings produce. I paused and thought to myself, "Are you really too busy to see God's beautiful creation?" So I abandoned the laundry, grabbed my camera and went out to snap a few shots. The temperature was perfect. Birds chirped, squirrels frolicked, a light morning dew rested on the grass. It was beautiful. So this picture is my salute to taking the time to see the sun rise.

Friday, September 21, 2007


Yesterday Blaise managed to get on top of a small nightstand in the girls room. Somehow she fell off of it and knocked it over. It landed on her foot and broke the knob off. It immediately bruised her ankle and she cried a lot. I picked her up and brought her into the living room to console her. We were sitting on the couch when Paige walked in. This is how the conversation went.

(Paige in tears)
Paige: Mom, it is my fault Blaise got hurt.
Me: How is that?
Paige: Well, Blaise saw me sitting on the night stand and she always wants to do what I do.
I walked out of the room and I should have stayed to watch over her. I take responsibility for her getting hurt.
Me: Well Paige, I am glad you told me, and I forgive you.
(Paige exits tremulously smiling, promising to go and watch over her sister.)

This kid is something else.

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Better late than never!

So, obviously - vacation is over. I just wanted to post a few of my pictures.

This one is Elliott taking pictures of John, I just loved the sun behind him though.

These are Blaise's first footprints in the sand!

Blaise LOVED the beach!

I just loved this one.

Since Pam gave you all the info, I could be purly artistic. I am just sad I didn't take more pictures.

Saturday, September 1, 2007


The other day I lost Blaise . . . this is where I found her. Just hanging out in the dryer. Warm clothes and a small opening, she thought it looked perfect.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Confession is good for the soul.

I have a confession to make. This is hard, but for this relationship to continue I have to be completely honest. I have been a selfish blogger. I have come to the realization that it is all about what I can get, not what I can give. I want to read about your lives, but say I am too busy to comment. I want you to read my few and far between posts and comment, but I haven't extended the same courtesy. Relationships aren't 50 - 50. They don't work if each only gives half. Relationships only work if we both give 100%. So . . . I am so terribly sorry for my selfish and inconsiderate behavior. This relationship is important to me, even if I haven't acted like it. Will you forgive me? I don't think I could go on if you didn't forgive me. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful new season for us.

So, deep breath, let's both wipe our eyes and put this behind us. Remember, love keeps no record of wrongs. Thank you for letting me get this off my chest. That is why I love you so much!!

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Mystery Wedding?

Billy and I have received 2 pieces of mail in the last 3 months that have stumped us. The first was a save the date notice for the wedding of Hilary Pike and Kirk Boen. I racked my brain trying to place these names and came up with a blank. Today we received the actual wedding invitation. Neither Billy or I have any idea who they are. The letter was addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Billy Hafner, 503 Munson, Clyde TX. So if any of you have any idea who these two are, please let me know.

Thursday, August 16, 2007


God is SOOOOO smart!!

Yesterday, while checking the forecast for Dauphin Island I noticed a little something. There is a tropical depression or whatever coming through the Gulf of Mexico right now, which means that if we would have gotten the original house in South Padre, we would be out of luck. The coast is expecting heavy rainfall. I was so frustrated when the house fell though, twice. But to step back and look at the big picture now, is beautiful. We have a better house, on a better beach, for better money and with better weather. Isn't that just the kind of God my God is. More than we could ask, think or imagine. So God knew what He was doing. This increases my faith in some other areas. When something passes by, there must be something better coming.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Here is what is going on.

This morning I got up early, had a shower, and then went to see Ally, Jason and Chelsa's new baby girl. She is beautiful. She looks just like Jason. It was so nice to hold such a little baby. There are definitely some stirrings going on. One more baby, yeah I think so.

Our vacation is just around the corner. Today I am taking the girls swimming at Krissy's. Tomorrow Pam and I are doing our school shopping and anything we need for the trip. Friday . . . We are out of here. I am so excited. Billy had been working so hard, he really needs a vacation. The girls are so excited. They are counting down the days.

On a spiritual note - I am working through some stuff right now. I have been having a difficult time with the whole "in God's timing". I know that is the truth and I know God is good. There are just some things I have been waiting for it seems like forever. Some not so long. But this has definitely been a season of waiting. I am not crazy about those seasons. But I feel that it is just around the corner. I want the word of God to divide soul and spirit in this area.

Hebrews 10:35-36 "So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

The Plan!

We are meeting at the Roadhouse at 7pm Friday. If you want to car pool from Clyde, call me. I have room for 6 more in my car. I am excited. No kids, no boys, no agenda. Just what I need.

Girl's NIght - Take Two!!

So, I was thinking about how much fun I had at our last girls night. I was thinking it may be time for another one soon. Maybe Sat. Night. or something. I am going on vacation next Friday, so sometime before that. My only request is this: NO DRINKING!!

I want Rachel to come, and I have also had a small nudge from the Lord about this question. It is permissible, but is it beneficial. So if you are interested, let me know. I love being in the company of my wonderful girlfriends. It doesn't hurt that I am four children lighter. HeeHee

Saturday, August 4, 2007

God is so GOOD!!

I got a phone call today. Someone is buying me a new washer and dryer. These are the ones I have chosen. I am picking them up tomorrow. Isn't God so good. He takes care of my every need. It makes me wonder why I ever worried in the first place.

Friday, August 3, 2007

Update -

Well, I thought an update was in order.

Avery's arm was not broken. It was just Nurse Maid's elbow. That is a dislocating of the elbow something or other. Brent put it back into place. She screamed and she is still favoring it quiet a bit. I think it is still sore. She should be better in no time.

Blaise is feeling fine today. It must have been something she ate.

Trish came and got the throw up sheets to wash them (I love you Trish!!)

H-E-B called and said they would reimburse my doctor's bills. (I will interject here that Wal-Mart would have probably told me to get a paper towel and clean up any spills in the aisle. One more reason I love H-E-B)

My knee is just sore today.

Washer is still a problem. I haven't figured out what I am going to do yet.

But overall a major improvement. Thank you Jesus!! I even think I am going to get a nap. Thanks for all your prayers and encouraging comments. They were needed. I love you!!

Under Attack -

Well, it is 5:30 in the morning, but I have been up since 3. This is how my week has been.

First of all my washer broke Tuesday. I had to go to the laundry mat, which wasn't so bad. I got 8 loads done in 2 hours. But now the laundry is piling up again.

Yesterday I went grocery shopping. I slipped inside on a puddle of water and re-injured my hurt knee. I ended up going to Dr. J's at about 4. Dr. Kinchloe did x-rays. Luckily, nothing was broken. But that visit cost my $140. When I found out nothing was broken, I wanted to ask for my money back. Anyway.

Then, last night the girls were wrestling and Avery got hurt. I think her arm is broken. She is holding it close to her body and won't let me move it. I am so freaking mad. I was mad at the girls because they were being too rough with her. I wondered if someone is going to report me to CPS. Two broken bones on one little girl in less than half a year. So she woke up crying at 3 because her arm hurt. I carried her into my room and put her in my bed. She took my space so I just sat beside her and comforted her while she cried off and on. She finally dozed off at about4. So I laid down at the end of the bed and dozed for about 30 minutes.

Next, Paige comes running into my room telling me that Blaise threw up. So I run into her room. She has indeed thrown up, everywhere. I take her out of her bed and give her a bath. I then strip the sheets and blankets out of her bed . But, alas, I have no washer. So because they smelled so bad I put them in a garbage bag until I can figure out what to do.

So while I was up I went ahead and gave the kitchen a good clean. Blaise came in and threw up on the floor again, so I mopped. Anyway. It is getting close to 6 now. I am going to have to take Avery to get her arm checked out so I better get ready.

Please pray -
- Avery's arm is healed
- Blaise is healed
- My knee is healed
- I can recover the rest I lost last tonight
- Money for these stupid doctor's bills
- Attack to stop

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Thank You!!

I had such a fun time last night. I really needed it. I love each of you more every time we spend time together. These are just a few of the things I love about each of you from last night.

Jennifer - Said shocking improper things that made me laugh very hard

Brandi - Shared the good smooth stuff

Pam - Let me sip her swirl

Erica - Didn't break Becky's camera after I got THE SHOT

Becky - Documented it all with her camera and talent

Cherith - Drove and opened up about some random stuff that showed me a new side of her

Brenda - Brought party favors

Kathy - She is just fun whether you are praying or having a girls night, she's just fun

Ashley - She is like adding jewelry to an already cute outfit, just spices things up

Krissy - Reminisced about the old days

Amy - Reminded me of how we met, and how much I love to be with her

So anyway, I think we should do that more often. All the pressure that was building after weeks alone with my kids has seemed to disapate now. Thank you!!

Thursday, July 19, 2007

So here is the plan!

Saturday Night. Meet at 6:30PM, 7PM, Abuelo's. Pregnant girls are the D.D. Who's in?

Girl's night out, anyone?

Well, it has been awhile since I posted last. So here is what is up. I have been feeling a little stressed the last few days. I have been short with the kids and have felt a little b****y. I begin to examine why I feel this way and here is what I have come up with. I think it has been almost 2 weeks since I have done anything without my kids. (excluding a short Theophostic session) Sunday I was in the nursery, I had Avery Thurs and Fri during Allen and Courtney's wedding stuff. I never realize how much I need some time until I don't have it. Billy has been working 16 hour days and so he hasn't been able to help much. He is in a season right now where he just has to get things done and I don't resent him for it. I think a girl's night is in order. Maybe Saturday or something. All I know is that I need to get a babysitter and have some time with my girlfriends.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Allen and Court's Wedding

Due to my little Avery being in Allen and Court's wedding tomorrow, I will not be able to go to the state park. Avery needs to be rested and in the best of moods. So this is three weeks in a row that we will miss. By the way, sorry Brandi that no one showed but you last week. I am at least glad you had fun. So, I hope there will be another state park day soon in the future. Peace Out!!

Monday, July 2, 2007


Lately all my writing energy has gone to my book. I have found that I don't have much to say on my blog. But for love of my Becky, here I am.

So the book is coming along. I haven't had good uninterrupted time to write. So I just get to it when I can. I have almost 60 pages right now. I am also writing a few things on the side. So writing takes up most of my free time. But I did get the desk and computer from my mom's. So I have a good comfortable place to work.

I am also a little busy with all the kids home. They are all home. All day. All of them. Anyway. I have to cook more and clean more and straighten more and do more laundry and kiss scrapes more and referee disagreements more wipe noses and hineys more. You get the picture. More is required. Keeps me busy. I can't wait for the Methodist Church camps to start. Both the big girls are going . Monday - Fri, 9-3, 4 weeks in a row. Hallelujah. Don't get me wrong. I love my girls. We just live in a small space. We have like 4 square feet per person. Just kidding, it is more like 8 square feet.

The fast has been going good. I haven't missed TV at all. I really thought I would. The eating out has been harder. I did cave once. But God's grace is sufficient.

The Community Service was good. I thought Bryan did terrific. I was glad to get to share my testimony, even though I did cry a little.

I am even excited about the Centennial thing. I think Erica is rubbing off on me.

Billy's job is going good. He just has to work a lot right now. He is working like 100 hours a week. So it keeps him really busy. On a side note, I am just crazy about Billy. Can't seen to not be.

So there are some thing going on with me. Be Blessed.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Rain Check -

Well, the forecast for tomorrow is scattered thunderstorms, 60% chance of precipitation. High of 77. So I guess the first State Park Friday is cancelled. We are really bummed, but I can't complain about the rain. I feel it is a physical sign of the spiritual outpouring coming. People will have to go to high ground or be swept away. It will wash away the old and usher in a season of new life. It will be refreshing and invigorating. This rain will cause much growth. But as for swimming, today I let the girls slip and slide on the trampoline in the rain, I guess that is the closest they are getting to swimming this week. Hopefully next week will be sunny again.

Friday, June 22, 2007

I have a proposal!!

What do you say to State Park Fridays? 11ish - 3ish. Whoever can come, come and bring your own food. I really had a good time and now that I know Blaise is a little water baby I am not worried about taking all of them. If you have a better suggestion or idea, that is great. I am not trying to be pushy, which I have realized I can be. Just thought a plan would be good. What do you think?

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

California Pics!!

Here are some pics from Cali!!

Pretty waterfall thingy in front of the prayer house.
These are some of the beautiful mountains surrounding Redding.

This is the drive up to Bethel Church. I really liked the flags.

Pool of Bethesda in front of the prayer house.

The prayer house.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Happy Birthday Avery!!

Today is my beautiful Avery's 3rd b-day! Here are just a few things I love about my Avery!

* She is sweet to her little sister Blaise.
* She loves to dance and worship.
* She is a social butterfly like her daddy!!
* She says funny phases like, "Hmm, I don't phink so!!"
* She wants to keep up with the big girls so much!
* She loveslovesloves Miles.
* She shares with her friends well.
* She loves her mama and daddy.
* She already knows what mascara and eyeliner are.
* She will lay her hands on you and pray for you at any time.

* She already loves Jesus so much!!

So, on this birthday my prayer for you, my Avery, is that you would know Him more, have more fun, dream bigger, laugh more, dance more, smile more, pray more, obey more, love more, and play more. I pray you would love and be loved like never before. I pray that you will know your destiny in your youth and run after it. I pray that you would be blessed and highly favored. That the goodness and mercy of the Lord would follow you all the days of your life. You are loved by many, especially your mommy!!

P.S. I am throwing her a little party on Thursday at our State Park swimming outing.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

State Park Anyone?

I am planning to take the girls back to the State Park, Thursday the 21st. We had such a great time last time, they have been asking to go back. Weather looks good, high of 89. Anyone interested in going?

Monday, June 11, 2007

Woah!! Woah!!!

OH MY STARS!! So where to begin? God is blessing our trip incredibly. Everything is better than we expected. Our flights were smooth. Our airport experiences were easy. Our rental car was upgraded from a Kia Rio to a cute PT Cruiser, with a sun-roof. Picture Brandi and I cruising down I5 with the sunroof open, hair blowing in the wind, and me singing "Ohh baby do you know what that's worth, ohh heaven in a place on Earth. They say in Heaven loves comes first, we'll make heaven a place on Earth. Ohh, Heaven is a place on Earth" at the top of my lungs. Prophetic . . . maybe!! Anyway, we get to our hotel, and it is better than we expected. This seemed to be the theme of this trip. Went to the night service and it was really good, but at 8:30 Kris Vallaton was still talking, but it was 10:30 our time and this was three plane rides, 1 shuttle ride, 1 sky link ride, and one 3 hour car trip later. So, tired and hungry we slipped out and ate and went back to the hotel to catch some zzz's. Next morning, breakfast then registration. Opening session was phenom. God showed me so much just in the first impartation time. Good Stuff!!! So, this is where it gets good. First session was really good. It was "The marriage of speaking and writing." During this session I had the opportunity to share my book concept to the room. A several people had comments of suggestions. All Good. They seemed to really think it was a needed topic. Then Yvonne, the speaker, prayed over me and when the session ended we left through a fire tunnel. Yvonne kept saying,"published, published" over me. Then she told me she wanted to talk to me later. So we ended up going to lunch. Yvonne, me, Brandi and our new friend Keleigh (pronounced Kelly), our new friend from Georgia. This is where I got the "OH MY STARS!" During lunch Yvonne and I connected well I think. I think this because I got blasted by her in the car on the way back. She prophecied over me and crowned me and broke stuff off of me. It was intense. My head was stuck to the window. She gave me some amazing words, I wrote them down and can share later if you want. Fast forward to the critique session. OH MY STARS!! I was a little nervous. When I walked up she said, "Oh, you're Francesca!!" Her first words were, "I read this book and I thought OHH this is awesome, it has got to get out there, and I haven't said that to anyone yet." I know it word for word because I recorded it. Woah!!! Woah!! The session was so amazing. I am so blessed and thankful and a million other adjectives I can't say, which I am sure surprises Erica. I am so jacked up. We have a hour with Bill Johnson, them some more sessions, Brandi has her critique session, then impartation with Kris Vallatton. There are plenty more details, but this is already getting so long. I love and miss all of you. Pray for safe and easy trip home tomorrow.

Saturday, June 9, 2007

Crunch Time!

Okay, it is crunch time. I have to do the laundry. Have the house clean. Pack my bags. Buy some groceries. Organize schedules for the people watching my kids when I go. And, I have to do it all by 4:30. This evening, Billy, Cody, Ashley and I are going on a date. So I have to have everything ready when I leave for my date. We have to be at the airport at 5:30, yes, that is AM people. We fly out at 6:35. I am so excited. Brandi said that if we had a $ for every time we said, "I am so excited!" the trip would have been free. So, I am sure you are asking yourself the same question I am. "If you have so much to do, why are you on the computer?" So in response to that question, I gotta go. Be praying for Brandi and I. Safety, favor, blessings and a catapult into our destinies. I love you!

P.S. If you are reading this, and have no clue what I am talking about. We are going to a conference at Bethel in Redding California. Writing unto the Glory!!!

Friday, June 8, 2007

Swimming Fun!!

Today we went to the State Park. This was my first trip. It was me and 3 of my 4 kids. Pam and 3 of her 4 kids. Brandi and 4 of her 5 kids. Monica and 3 of her 4 kids. And Rachel and her two kids. We brought food and towels and floaties. We had a great time. The kids swam and I got really sunburned. We talked about doing it every week. It is only $4 per adult. That is not bad for a full day of fun.

Friday, June 1, 2007

Any Ideas?

I am writing a book about the relationship between women. The good, the bad, the hard. Anyway, Erica thought I should take a poll and see if you had any good ideas for a title. I was calling it Woman to Woman, but I could probably do better. So let me know if a light bulb goes off.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Come On!!!

I am so excited. I can't wait to see the next thing God does. I feel like we are all being launched into our destinies. We are all coming to a new level of maturity. We are all having a spirit of expectancy. I am so excited. There are some awesome things on the horizon.

1) REVIVAL - no explanation needed.

2) Trip to California - Me and a few are praying for God to make a way for us to go to a writing conference at Bethel in June. I feel called to write books and this will be an incredible tool.

3) New God-confidence - I cannot explain how I feel. I have a new confidence. I feel different on the inside, but soon everyone will see it on the outside. I used to look in the mirror and hate what I saw. I just don't feel that way anymore. I feel confident. I can stand in front of a room of people and not feel inadequate. God is awesome.

4) Marriage - I have always loved Billy and I feel for the last 5 years or so we have had a good marriage. But now . . . come on. I am crazy about him. I love him so much. I love our marriage. And I think he loves the new found confidence.

5) Supernatural - I am eagerly and anxiously waiting for signs and wonders to be an everyday occurrence.

6) Destiny - I am so pumped about everyone walking in their destiny to a greater degree.

7) Financial Favor!! - I am excited about financial favor coming our way. I am excited about being debt free. I am excited about really being the giver instead of the receiver.

I am sure there are more. But here are a few things I am so excited about. What about you?

Thursday, May 24, 2007

12 steps...

I have a confession to make. I have to come clean. They say the first step is admitting you have a problem. I am an addict. I am addicted to the presence of God. I can't get enough. I will do anything to get it. I will lose all my pride and become undignified. I have to have it. And do you know what? I don't know how I lived all these years on religion and duty. How I lived with such a sparse touch from Jesus. I just know that there is no going back for me. I have to have Him. So if you have lived a life addicted to religion, here are 12 steps for to be free.

1) We admitted we were powerless with religion—that our lives had become unmanageable.

2) Came to believe that God, who is bigger than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3) Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, in entirety.

4) Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5) Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6) Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7) Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8) Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9) Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10) Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11) Sought through prayer and meditation and acts of radical obedience contact with God, reserving nothing, praying only for knowledge of His Will for us and the power to carry that out.

12) Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to people full of duty and religion, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

You know #8 caused me to pause and think. How many people have I wounded with a life of religion. Because I felt that heaviness of law, I put it on others. Lord forgive me. You can be free of religion too. I pray you have a new addiction that no amount of steps can break.

(These really are the 12 steps for an alcoholic, edited by me.)

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

What to say?

There is so much I would like to say. There is so much in me I would like to come out. But I am finding it hard to articulate what has happened in me this weekend. I could say it was good and that would be like saying that I think my husband in neat. It would sound trite and not even touch the surface of the deepness that is on the inside. I have seen the glory of God. I have heard Him clearly. I have been empowered and propelled into my destiny. I have forged bonds stronger and more solid than before. I have had a change of mind, a change of heart, an impartation of life changing faith. I have had the fear that has gripped me for most of my life broken off. I will embrace the greatness within me. I will embrace the destiny before me. Things that have plagued me for YEARS are gone. I know it on the inside, and soon everyone will see it on the outside.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” --Marianne Williamson

No longer will I shrink back or play small. No longer will I apologize for the greatness within me. That is not arrogance. It is the glory of God on the inside coming out.

Monday, May 14, 2007


Well, let's see, I am feeling SOSOSOSO much better. I cannot tell you how much last week stunk. Not only was I sick with strep, I found out that the world did not stop for me. I still had to cook, clean, bathe children, vacuum floors, wash sheets etc. No matter how bad I felt in the morning, or how much I wanted to take a nap, there were still 2 or sometimes 4 little munchkins (possible 5 if you know what I mean) who needed me. I think there should be a Joshua anointing for sick mothers. We pray and the sun stands still. Well, I guess that would work, the bible didn't say the people stood still. He just gave him some extra time. Hey, sometimes I could just use some extra time. But, Kathy's message was timely and encouraged me. So today I will catch up on all the stuff that suffered last week.

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Please Pray!

Please pray for me today. I have had some pretty crummy symptoms since Monday. I have been coming against them. All I know is that I need to be well and SOON. I don't have the time for this kind of nonsense. So please pray for me today. Thanks.

Friday, May 4, 2007


*To see the Glory of God like never before.- Show me your Glory!!

This was one of the things I was believing God for in my last post. I want to revise this. While I do want to see God in all His glory, there is something else I want more.

*I want a mad, passionate, scandalous, unending, unquenchable, head-turning, fanatical, fiery, consuming, crazy love affair with Jesus. Doesn't that sound sacrilegious. Exactly!!!

Thursday, May 3, 2007


By now we have all probably heard that May is a special month of favor for God's elected. Well, I am God's elected so I am expecting HUGE things to happen this month. This is what I think we should do. We should keep a record of all the things that happen this month. From the big to the small. The miraculous to the mundane. And at the end of the month post them. I believe it will be a faith increaser. I have some big things I am believing for also. I have big expectations.
Here is a few of my believing God for list: (in no particular order)
*Debt Free
- School loans, cars, everything.
*Supernatural results from my diet and exercise.
- Been working hard and seen little if no results, very frustrating
*Financial Increase for Billy's Business.
- Sales, Sales, Sales
*Dream Home.
- In God's timing
*To see the Glory of God like never before.
- Show me your Glory!!
*To find Transcriptionist jobs so I can earn money from home.
- Finished school, Yay, now need jobs
*Healing of knee and toe.
- Skating incident and a weird toenail thing, yuck.
*Poverty Mentality to be broken completely
- There has been a large measure of freedom, but I want it all.

Now if God wants to do these all in May that is fantastic, if not the sooner the better. I will wait on the Lord.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Summer Vacation!!!!!!

I am so excited. August 18-23 the Hafner family and the Park family (minus April :() are going on VACATION!!!! We have rented an awesome house on South Padre Beach. Here are some pics of it.

As you can see it is right on the beach. This is the view from the balcony off the game room.

This is our own private pool. It is called a mood pool. At night it changes colors: pink, purple, blue! How cool is that.
Here is the 12 person kitchen table. We are going to have lots of fun meals around this.
Here is just one of the many beds in the place. It has four bedrooms and about 12 beds!
This is the game room. Separate from the living room. It has DVD players, video library, PlayStation, games, music library. The house also has a BBQ grill, full kitchen, and tons more. The lady was really nice and she didn't mind our thousand kids. I think this is going to be a vacation our kids will never forget. I am so excited. What vacation plans do you have for the summer?

Monday, April 30, 2007

Nothing is impossible with God!

Nothing is impossible with God - I will be the size God intended me to be.
Nothing is impossible with God - We will be debt free and do it soon.
Nothing is impossible with God - I will have the house of my dreams.
Nothing is impossible with God - I will stand before huge crowds and speak.
Nothing is impossible with God - Billy will have a multimillion dollar business.
Nothing is impossible with God - I will keep my home with excellence.
Nothing is impossible with God - I will be comfortable in my own skin.
Nothing is impossible with God - My children will have everything they need ...
Nothing is impossible with God - and most of the things they want.
Nothing is impossible with God - I will hear God everyday.
Nothing is impossible with God - I will write books.
Nothing is impossible with God - My family will be great in the Kingdom.
Nothing is impossible with God - I will not waste one day.

What have you believed is impossible?

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Paige and Sarah!

I am an equal opportunity guest blog allower. So, Paige, not to be outdone by Bailey, has requested an Ode to Sarah.

Me and Sarah are best friends even though we are cousins. Me and her like to do the same things like art, getting our nails done and singing. Even though I am in Clyde and she is in Wylie we think about each other a lot. And I am glad she is born three months before me, and if she wasn't I don't think I could make it through life without her. We have fun on holidays and we give each other cool presents, and we both like it.

Monday, April 23, 2007


I am so excited. Erica has asked me to frame 2 or 3 pictures for the Centennial thing in July. I am now having trouble deciding which pictures to choose from. I want to know your opinion. All these were taken in Clyde. So, PLEASE, comment on this one.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

The Greater Good-

Here is a funny story. Apparently I am getting "older". I have been finding a few grey hairs. Well Friday I happened to find 3 at one time. I was in Abilene and had no way to pull them. They were really short and because my hair was pulled back you could see them rather plainly. Monica and I were in HEB and we happened to run into Erica doing her usual Friday stuff. When she saw the hairs she immediately pulled my head over (because she is considerably shorter that I am) and right there in the produce section tried to pull out the grey hairs. Ignoring my embarrassment she tried for what felt like 10 minutes but was probably 2 minutes. In the end she couldn't get them out and luckily for me she stopped just before Doug Horner came pushing his basket up to us. For those of you who know Erica well this probably doesn't surprise you. If you have ever been unlucky enough to come into her presence with a blemish on your face you probably know what I mean. But I love her for wanting me to look my best, no matter what it takes to get there, how much pain or embarrassment is caused. I know it is all for the greater good.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Drought -

I took this picture outside my house. As you can see the ground is very dry.

So Long!

Sorry it has been so long since I posted last. So this is basically what is going on.
* Becky and I have been planning the BFW. We have been reading talks, organizing meetings and planning a few awesome surprises.
*Done some spring cleaning and rearranging which has helped the girls rooms tremendously.
*I have been taking some pictures of random things I see.
*Laundry, laundry and more laundry.
*I have been going to life group.
*Been reading John 13-15 over and over and over and over and over etc.
*Typed some incredibly long and wordy forms for Trish.
*Have had a crappy cold.
*Been lusting after dishwashers at
*Been going to see my friend Gym.
*Have been changing stuff in my talk.
*Thinking of creative ways to get Billy to eat more healthy.
*Had an amazing Theophostic session.
*Had a great night out with some of my girlfriends.

I have felt a little lost in all the things I have to do. I don't get to go to coffee anymore, so I feel a little disconnected there. I have missed the last 2 intercessory prayer meetings, so I feel a little disconnected there. But I feel connected with my God and with my husband. So that is good. I hope I will have some more interesting things to say soon.

Thursday, April 5, 2007

I Love Jesus!

Today I have a guest blogger. I took these pictures today and when Bailey saw them she wrote this to go with them.
She titled this "I Love Jesus!"

God loves his little children all of them and did you know that God he sent his one and only son to earth so he could die but he wasn’t sending his only son to die because he was annoying. Anyways Jesus isn’t annoying and did you know that God will heal every person who is hurt who ever is injured or who ever is dead. God loves you so much. Some day you may be the nicest person someone ever met.


When Jesus died, they put nails through his hands and feet and that is why we have a picture that shows a nail through the cross.


Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Hope -

Hope has been a common theme lately. It has caused me to ask some questions.

What happens when we hope and are disappointed? Do we withdraw to protect from future wounds. Do we heal and just move on. Do we become paralyzed in the fear that maybe we can't have all we have wished. Do we stop hearing that still small voice. Do we try even harder to hear it now because maybe we have missed it in the past. Or do we quit listening at all. Do we not dream again. Do we decide that dreams are exactly that, things that fill our mind in the dark of night and in the light of day are no where to be found. Do we stop feeling because it is dangerous. Do we feel too much, reading motive and intentions in everything. What happens when we hope and are disappointed. Do we stop hoping. Where are we without hope. Hope is the beginnings of faith. Faith is the assurance of things hoped for. The evidence of things not seen. I have decided that I would rather hope and risk it all, then live a life without it.

Friday, March 30, 2007

Baby Talk -

I have made a decision. Before talk of a new baby came into view, I had a plan. This plan included these things: lose weight and get healthy, go to school and start working some, be more involved with ministry, become excellent at housed stuff and be intentional with my children. I have decided that this talk of having a baby is a distraction. That sounds so terrible. I know. I have battled the feelings of guilt. But I feel like there are some things I am supposed to be doing now and having another baby would throw me off track. I also know that my time is spread thin to my children and another baby would just take more time from the children I have. I am not saying I will never have another baby. Just not now. I feel good about this. I want to offer good things to my family. I feel like I have been a baby factory for 10 years. I want to be the woman God intended me to be. My kids are not the reason I am not, but as we know, babies demand all of you. So this is my decision. After explaining my heart to Billy, he agreed. So on with the plan.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Am I Crazy?

Billy and I have felt that our family is very complete. Or so I thought. There has been much talk of having another baby. I was so sure I was done. I guess about as sure as I was that that was our house. Anyway, I am struggling with the whole be fruitful and multiply thing and now my body is my own. But is my body ever really my own. I love our children, and without tooting my own horn we make pretty good ones. (with lots of help from GOD) There could still be some world changers in our loins. Am I crazy? I think I may be. Why can't I just trust God on this issue. Why can't I just get off the birth control and believe God knows best? Pray, please!

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

I've got my hopes set high!

I have decided to hope again. I know that sounds pretty serious, huh? Well, after the house thing the enemy tried to convince me to not get my hopes up again. That I would just be disappointed again. After sorting through all my thoughts and emotions I will rest on the facts. God is good. He has good things for me. I have decided I WILL get my hopes up again. In fact, I have decided to get my hopes even higher. Truth be told, there were some things about the house I wasn't crazy about. The draw was that the gratification was immediate. I didn't want to wait any longer. But I will. I have decided I will not settle. I will hope for something even better than the last. To the world that probably seems crazy, but I know that my God WILL do exceeding, abundantly above what I could ask or imagine. And also, thank you all my beloved friends for encouraging me to keep the faith, assuring me that I didn't look like the ass I felt, and loving me through my funk. I love each and every one of you so much. So it could be a year or maybe five, but I will not settle. That is the kind of God I serve. One who gives you the desires of your heart. And I know this because He is my delight. So the stand of faith continues.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Friday Night

I recently had a girls night with Pam and Brandi. We went to Abuelo's (yum, yum). Then went to see a movie. This post is a thanks to those girls. We went to see the movie 300. I have been wanting to see it so bad. And even though that is not their type of movie, they went with me anyway. I had a great time, and I needed one. So thanks, again. And next time, you can pick the movie :)

Saturday, March 24, 2007

No good title for this one

So, we are not getting the house. I don't want to go into much detail right now. We have heard a definite NO. I am sad and disappointed and a little embarrassed. I was so sure it was mine. I guess I was wrong. I will now clean up the mess I made by telling everyone and their dog that we were moving in May 1st. I will just stand on the fact that God is good, He can't be anything else.

Friday, March 23, 2007

The Battle-

So, things aren't working out like I planned. I am battling the battle of knowing what God wants and maybe giving up what I want. I am battling the enemy in my mind and thoughts. I am battling emotions of anger and sadness and embarrassment. I am just not sure what to think right now. I feel a little like Erica with all my words that don't paint a clear picture of what I am feeling. I just know that I don't know. God will you tell me so I do know. Please.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Spring Break Fun!

Spring break wasn't anything special. Avery's leg was hurt and Billy was working a lot. So I tried to find some fun things the girls could do. This was the day they made mud pies. Well, they started out making mud pies. They ended up playing a muddy version of slip and slide. But they had a great time. And it did take us a while to get them cleaned up. I have in the past not like things like this because they were dirty and would take time to clean up and so on and so forth. But I know that they will probably remember this forever. It was great fun to them and it was worth my time and effort. I don't ever want to be so uptight that I miss an opportunity to make great memories with my beautiful girls. And yes we did end up throwing all their clothes away.

Monday, March 19, 2007

God is GOOD!!

Today we took Avery to her one week check-up on her leg. The doc took more x-rays. He came back in and showed us the x-rays. He told us that if he didn't know where to look he would not have been able to see the break; it was healing that fast. So instead of another 5 weeks in the cast thingy he said he thought in two weeks she would be fine. Isn't that amazing. So, just wait, it doesn't stop there. We were leaving to go up to the front to pay the fee. He walked us up to the front and said to the lady at the desk, "oh, no charge!!!" Now mind you this is not Brent Steadman, our friend, who didn't charge me. This is a doc we had only met once (though I suspect Brent could have had something to do with it, though ultimately God is the one who had something to do with it.) It was free. X-rays, visit, new bandages. All free. Isn't God so GOOD. I felt like He gave me a special present today. I just wanted to share that with you. And like Brandi's blog, don't be jealous that we are highly favored. Because so are you :)

Monday, March 12, 2007


This is my baby Avery. She was jumping on the trampoline Thursday night and broke her leg. I am so sad. I pray for a swift recovery. So please pray for my baby :(

Thursday, March 1, 2007

Hats Off!

There has been a lot going on in me. It has been kinda jumbled. Hard to get out, ya know. So I will just give a small recap of what has been up with me. So I found out Sat. Night, that we are moving into our new house MAY 1ST. YAY, YAY, YAY, YAY. I am so thrilled. Sometimes when I think about it I just cry. So that is extremely exciting. I will blog more about that later, when I can process more. So, hats off to GOD, for being awesome.

Next, I have the easiest class ever. Have taken about 6 tests, haven't made less than a 96. Well, two of those tests were open book And we don't have to go next week or the next (spring break). And when we come back we have another open book test. Last week class started at 6:30, I took 2 tests and left by 7:20. Too easy. We have a word for this, cakemix. So hats off to Mrs. Torrez.

Next, Billy has been working so hard and crazy hours. But it is really paying off. He has had some great sales and awesome connections. So let's keep praying for the favor of God to rest of Billy's work. So hats off to Billy.

Lastly, I have felt pretty crappy about the BL. I have been working out. Haven't been eating great. Haven't lost one pound. I feel a little hopeless right now. It just seems so far away. I don't have 20 or even 30 pounds to lose. Let's just say, a lot more. So we can shove that hat...

So anyway. That is what is going on with me. It is a little jumbled. Sorry.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Shout Out!

I just want to give a shout out to some of my favorite people. Trish and Joel Trueblood. They bring food when you need it. They pick up your kids for school when you need it. They pray and believe with you when you need it. They encourage your children to be mighty prayer warriors. They truly embrace community and I love it and I love them and I love them for it:)

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Update on "Stretch"

I have been processing the "being stretched" blog. I have come to a conclusion. I don't believe God is looking to stretch us, per se, I believe He wants us to grow. When there is growth, you don't shrink (barring any osteoperosis). When you stretch, there is the rebound. I don't want to rise to the occasion and then rebound back. I want to grow, and then grow, and then grow more, and hold more, and believe more and grow more and etc. Maybe when Paul said from Glory to Glory we could say from growth to new growth. Let's don't just stretch and pop back. We all know what happens when we catch the end of that rubber band coming back. It stings. Let's, instead, grow.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

A house divided -

Have you ever been grocery shopping and just spent some time peeking in other people's baskets. You come across someone whose basket is filled with fresh produce and organic everything and you think, that is probably a pretty healthy person. Then you come across someone who has 3 12 packs of coke, chips, and an assortment of frozen pizzas and you may think, that person is probably not so healthy. Well I am a house divided. I was shopping today at HEB. As you know it is hard to lose weight without the proper foods at your disposal. So I was making sure I had everything I needed. Sugar free, fat free fudge bars to curb the chocolate craving. Protein bars for those on the go times. Lean Cuisines for a fast meal. Boneless, skinless chicken for cooking meals. Light dressings, fat free whip cream, fresh fruits and veggies. So on and so forth. Then I also had Oreos for Billy's late night sweet tooth. Hot dogs and sugary cereal. Sugar for Billy's sweet tea. Some treats for the girls and some other crap. So if someone looks in my basket they will see what the Bible calls a house divided. Do any of you have this problem? I am not saying cook unhealthily or feed our families trash. But they are not overweight, shouldn't they have some indulgences that they like. What do you think?

Tuesday, February 20, 2007


I was thinking today about being stretched. There have been so many times in my life when I felt like I was stretched. Sometimes God was asking me to do more, take on more, believe more and so on. Other times there have been seasons in family life when Billy was busy (like now) and I felt the pressure of that. Or even other times when relationships were growing and being worked out and it stretched me. More often then not I feel like I can rise to the occasion. There have even been some times when I have surprised myself. But there have been instances when, like anything stretchy, when then pressure was removed I went back to the previous state. While pondering this today I was thinking about different types of things that stretch. Take a rubber band, for instance, I can stretch it to accommodate my hair, but when I take it out it is fine. Undamaged and unblemished. But on the other hand, let's take my stomach. It was stretched beyond limits to houses 5 beautiful little girls. It was stretched so far that I bear scars to remember (and a pooch that I am in the process of removing) . And even though I don't look pregnant now, my stomach is not the same. At times I have hated this fact. But I always remembered that I birthed something. Something invaluable. There have been many times I have been like that rubber band that stretches, but doesn't stay stretched. So the next time, God has to stretch me again. This is the one time I do want to be like my stomach. That when God stretches me, I don't shrink back.

On a side note - In the past I have spoken curses over my stomach and have said I hated it. I have repented and changed my mind about my stomach. I am going to lose weight and God is going to restore it. God used this stomach to teach me a valuable lesson.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Builders and Foundations -

Luke 6:46-49 "And why do you call me Lord, Lord and not do what I say? Everyone who comes to me and hears My words and acts upon them, I will show you whom he is like: he is like a man building a house who dug deep and laid a foundation upon the rock and when a flood rose the torrent burst against that house and could not shake it because it had been well built. But the one who has heard and has not acted accordingly is like a man who built upon the ground without any foundation and the torrent burst against it and immediately it collapsed and the ruin of that house was great."

This verse has caused me to think about some basic stuff. Basic principle - why do you call me Lord, Lord and not do what I say? But let's break this down another step. 1) Everyone who comes to me. So first as a builder we have to come to the master architect for the plans. 2) and hears my words. Next we must know how to hear the voice of God. 3) and acts upon them. Then we musts obey God with the same intent that we came to Him and heard Him. Jesus says that the person that can do this won't be shaken when the flood comes because he has a deep foundation.

Now let's look at the antithesis of this principle. 1) the one who has heard and has not acted accordingly. So this man, like the first, came and heard, but the break down came at the obedience step. How many times have I heard the voice of God and not acted accordingly. Jesus says of the man who does this, the house collapsed and the ruin of that house was great. How many times have I allowed "ruin" to come to my "house" because after hearing the voice of God I was disobedient. Lord forgive me. I will share one area with you. There are probably a few to choose from. But I have heard from God to rise early and be with Him at the start of the day. So I came to Him with a problem. He gave me the solution. My problem was not having time during the day and feeling a disconnect. His solution was, rise early and drink of me to your heart's content at the beginning of the day, then give out of that. But here is an area that I have disobeyed. So when the torrents come I feel weak and collapse and bring ruin to my house. We are all building something. Let's be builders with a strong foundation.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

You got a kid on me! (Xander)

So, last night me and Billy decided we needed some alone time. We didn't go to the Valentine's Banquet, instead we went out on a quiet date, just the two of us. We had a great time, it was relaxing. We just talked and enjoyed each others company with no distractions. So we got home from our date. Mom had all the kids if bed. We will just say it was a wonderful night. Skip forward a few hours. Somewhere in my subconscious I hear a persistent crying that is trying to pull me out of my beloved slumber. I resisted but my motherly instincts took over. First thing I notice upon awakening is that my legs are SCREAMING from the lower body work out we did yesterday. Just a few hours of being still caused them to revolt. So I hobble out of bed through the house to get Blaise. When I get to the girls room I realize it is Avery crying, not Blaise. I pick her up and she has a fever. So I hobble back into the kitchen carrying Avery, legs giving out every step, and give her some medicine. I take her to the living room. I got her set up with a blanket, cup of water and, of course, bunny fufu to watch a movie. I stumble back to bed and immediately fall back asleep. Thirty minutes later she is back in my room needing to go potty. I get her situated again and once again immediately fall back asleep. One hour later, more crying, same stumbling through house, different baby. I take Blaise a bottle, which is ridiculous in itself because she is 16 months old there is no reason she should need a bottle in the middle of the night. But anyway, ridiculous bottle delivered, hobble back to my bed, once again, sleep. Thirty minutes later, more crying, little baby can't find pacifier. Once again, she shouldn't even have a pacifier at 16 months, but that is another story. Deliver said pacifier, more hobbling and after getting settle in covers, MORE CRYING. Now I am the one who wants to cry. I just laid their thinking. She is fed, has a pacifier, is safe and warm in her own bed. I can't do it. I can't get up and hobble through this house one more time. So, motherly instinct loses to survival instinct. I am up by six AM and need to take two of my four children to the doctor. I think this is going to be a good day!

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

To Cool for School!

I wonder when we start being "to cool". Today while picking out Valentines for the girls classes, Paige was distraught because the Family Dollar's selection of Valentine's were not cool enough. So we had to go to a different store to find some that were cool enough. I wondered to myself, when does that start and does it ever really stop. Bailey didn't care and Paige did so I will assume the awareness comes somewhere between 6 and 9. What is going to come next? Dropping her off down the road so no one sees my uncool Minivan. Never kissing her in front of her friends. Her refusing to hold my hand in public. Well, although the Valentine thing was real, I don't believe Paige will ever do the others. She loves to be hugged and kissed by me, where ever we are. She still climbs in my lap and wants me to hold her. But I know even as adult there have been times when I felt the similar "to cool for school" feeling. You know you have all felt it. Maybe when Cherith says, "Hey everybody, let's swim in the river." Not everyone is doing the backstroke to the worship music. Or when I went to the gym for the first time, I didn't want to stick out like a sore thumb. I just pray my children will gain the ability to live out their lives and not be concerned what others think. Imagine how much easier their lives will be because they just didn't care. Because then know on the front end they are different and just be okay with it. That is my prayer for them. I also pray I can do the same. Not have to be so reserved or cool. I want to throw off the restraints. So what if Bryan rocks. So what if we twirl and dance with invisible dance partners. I believe God smiles at that kind of abandonment.